


Where I'm Meant To Be

by disneydork



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Anna has a baby, Elsa's just a clueless lesbian, Elsa's life isn't where she thought it would be, Everyone has a comment, F/F, Give Elsa A Girlfriend (Disney), Movie: Frozen (2013), Movie: Frozen 2 (2019), Olaf has some dark interests, One Shot, Post-Frozen (2013), Post-Frozen 2 (2019), Useless Lesbians, elsamaren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23454187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disneydork/pseuds/disneydork
Summary: The one in which Anna has a baby and Elsa realizes her life - and she - are not what anyone expected from her. As Elsa struggles to understand her feelings for Honeymaren, it takes Anna finally deciding on the perfect name for her baby for Elsa to realize she's exactly who she's meant to be and that she already has everyone she needs.Takes place a few years post-Frozen 2.[Rated Teen for use of curse word in narrative]
Relationships: Elsa/Honeymaren (Disney)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 87





	Where I'm Meant To Be

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea floating in my head for a while and it's been in progress for well over a month. It started out as an idea meant to only be about three scenes and it just kept growing into something longer and more detailed than anticipated. I think one of the reasons it became so much more was because of how relatable the general idea is, which is you see someone close to you who seemingly has everything together and has the life that's expected or "the norm" for them, so if you're not in the same place it's very easy to feel out of place or believe others when they something must be wrong if you're not even thinking about trying to get to that place. And i kind of wanted to explore that with Elsa, what everyone else is thinking and how she's feeling when Anna is married with a baby and even when she was queen, Elsa never gave either a thought and why that might be.  
> Also i think i ended up writing Elsa and Maren as more useless lesbians than they probably actually are...? And the end notes are probably gonna be on the longer side because i can't help but explain my thought process so feel free to gloss over those! Anyway, enjoy!

_Oh shit._

Not that Elsa was one to curse at all but in this particular case she had every reason to.

“Can’t you go any faster?”

She was met with a slap to the face. The Nokk had tilted its head just enough so that its mane would come in contact with Elsa’s cheek. It was almost as if it were telling her ‘I’m trying’ or ‘shut up, damn it!’ Knowing the Nokk, it was most likely the latter.

Elsa sighed. Of course she knew the Nokk was going as fast as it could. It was speeding down the fjord, faster than a mere afternoon trot through Northuldra. Elsa leaned back, though only slightly. 

“I’m sorry. I’m just a little on edge,” she apologized.

A snort escaped the Nokk. It turned its head back to her briefly, staring at her in a doubtful manner. 

“Ok fine, I’m very on edge,” she confessed. “But you would be, too, if you had gotten my letter.”

It had started out as a typical morning in Northuldra. Elsa woke up and joined the tribe for breakfast. This particular morning the plan was to join Honeymaren with the reindeer before meeting up with the Earth Giants later on. The women had been conversing - though Elsa couldn’t remember what about anymore, and it certainly wasn’t because she was so easily lost in Honeymaren’s eyes or anything - when a crumpled up piece of paper swatted her on the head. Normally when Gale dropped off a letter it was folded beautifully like a crane or some other animal, always a message from Anna. But this time had been different. It took both Elsa and Honeymaren to make out that the chicken scratch writing had read, ‘it’s time’. Time for what, Honeymaren had asked. Even Elsa had been confused; it clearly wasn’t Anna’s handwriting and there was nothing else that indicated an emergency. They had gone back and forth attempting to decipher what it could possibly mean. It must have been close to ten minutes before Ryder walked past with one of the other reindeer speaking in a unique voice just for that particular creature, “sounds like some reindeer’s two weeks early.”

Two weeks early, Elsa had repeated.

Oh shit.

Anna!

Elsa had barely wasted any time before calling for the Nokk and blabbering who knows what. She had to get back to Arendelle as soon as possible! So yes, she was very on edge. Everything had been planned out so perfectly. She just saw Anna the week before. Elsa would arrive next when the baby was due, likely the day after it would be announced to the kingdom that the royal baby was born, a celebration would be set, Elsa would send a note to the Northuldra via Gale Mail so anyone could join, and everyone would rejoice at the party…. So much for that!

Elsa shook her head, snapping out of her thoughts. Her long blonde hair was no longer flying rapidly behind her, her posture was straightened, and the Nokk’s hooves splashing against the water came in fewer increments. “Did you seriously just slow down?”

The Nokk sighed. Then, shaking its head, it let out a loud neigh before racing down the fjord once again.

Much better.

Once they reached the edge of the kingdom, Elsa wasted no time before jumping off the spirit’s back. She called out a frazzled “thank you!” before sprinting through the cobble-stoned streets. No doubt the Nokk had rolled its eyes at her; but she had no time for their playful banter. 

It was late afternoon now, the streets a bit more crowded as Arendellians gathered food for the evening and finished going about their days. “Excuse me! Sorry! Oh, watch out!” Elsa gasped as she dashed in between people. A few instances she had to wave her arm, letting out a coat of ice so she could slide around without worrying about hitting anyone. Though she was barely able to make out a few confused gazes on her way, no doubt wondering why the fifth spirit returned to Arendelle in such frenzy, there was no time to explain anything. She couldn’t be late!

With a straight route to the open gates now in clear view, Elsa created one final ice path leading to the doors. She jumped on it and leaned forward to give herself some speed. Aiming one of her palms behind her she sent out a flurry to act as a rocket, pushing her ahead even faster. Elsa’s eyes widened as she rapidly approached the doors. The castle guards! Oops!

“Excuse me! Older sister coming through!” she called.

The guards gasped. Fortunately, the Snow Queen visiting was nothing out of the norm. One of them scurried to open the door, just in time for Elsa to fly through.

“Thank you!” she yelled back to them, accidentally blowing snow on them in the process. Jumping off her personal ice street, she wasted no time in running up the stairs. Which room, which room, which room…? Ugh, they’d gone over this so many times Elsa should have remembered! She hoped she wasn’t too late! Maybe there was still a chance….

“Hi Elsa!”

“Olaf!”

Stumbling at the snowman’s sudden appearance, Elsa tripped forward into him, knocking his head and torso off in the process. Pushing herself up onto her knees, Elsa shook her head. She barely moved a few loose strands out of her face before she saw what she did to the poor snowman.

“I’m so sorry, little guy,” she apologized. 

“Oh it’s ok,” his detached head replied with a big smile. “Hey maybe now you can rearrange me to look like one of those super muscular ice harvesters!”

“Maybe next time,” she offered.

“Hm…. Oh! How about some more twigs? I’m trying to grow my hair out,” he said.

“I think we can work something out for that later,” the blonde agreed. Once his body was put back together all that was left was his carrot nose. Picking it up off the floor, she dusted it off before gently sticking it back onto his face. “Better?”

“Almost as good as when I win at charades,” he chuckled.

Elsa shook her head. Olaf was growing into such a competitive snowman. No idea where he could have gotten that from. Then her brows furrowed as she realized something. “Wait, what were you doing out here in the hall?”

“Oh yeah,” he nodded, “I went to Anna’s room when I heard her screaming at the top of her lungs like she was falling off a cliff.” And he said it so chipper, too. Huh. But then his face fell, “Except Kristoff sent me out. He said I should wait at the other side of the castle for you.”

“Oh…” Elsa said softly. She could tell Olaf was disappointed. He wanted to be there when the baby was born just as much as she did. But Kristoff was right in sending him off; it was no place for a snowman. Or any child actually. Come to think of it, maybe the only family member that should have been in the room was Kristoff. Elsa supposed it was a good thing she came when she did after all; Olaf wouldn’t have to wait alone now, or feel left out. Here she was in a panic to make it to the birth on time and one of the most important members of the family was right there but couldn’t even get into the room. Olaf had just as much right to experience this as Elsa did. She couldn’t let him be the only one to miss out. “Actually, maybe that’s a good thing.”

Olaf raised an eyebrow. “How so?”

“I was so worried about making it here on time. And I was really nervous for Anna, because this wasn’t supposed to happen yet.” She took his twig hands in hers. “But seeing you here, it makes me feel a little bit better. Anna doesn’t need to see me be a nervous wreck for her, because I’m happy for her. You’re the perfect person to remind me of that. You always know exactly what to say.”

“Oh! Like…” he paused to think, “...how you’re more likely to get attacked by a cow than a shark!”

While it wasn’t quite the encouraging factoid she had in mind, it was certainly a distraction. And one that Olaf seemed so happy to share, as he often did with these random tidbits. She forced out a giggle. “Yes. Exactly like that.”

“Oh I know a lot more!” Olaf said excitedly. “Did you know it takes over a week to make just one jelly bean? Did you know murder is the only crime that doesn’t increase during a full moon? Did you know flamingos can only eat when their heads are upside down? Did you know girls have more taste buds than boys? Did you know if you went into space your head would explode before anything else?”

Elsa lost count of how many facts Olaf must have shared with her. Or how many of them had been so...dark. She didn’t even know how long they’d been sitting in the hallway for. But it was for the best. At least she was nearby in case Anna would need her. And if either of them needed to be a nervous wreck, it certainly shouldn’t be Elsa! She was unsure what time exactly it was when she did see Kristoff; only that the sun had set not too long ago.

“Elsa! When did you get here?”

“A while ago,” she answered as she rose to her feet.

Olaf jumped up and waved his twig eagerly. “I was distracting her!”

Elsa’s eyes widened. That’s right! Olaf was distracting her from…. “Oh! Anna! The baby! How is she? They? Did she have it? Are they fine? What’s going on?” The questions seemed to fly out of her one directly after the other. Surely they would have continued had Kristoff not placed his hands on her shoulders and chuckled.

“Anna’s fine. They’re fine.”

Elsa exhaled. “Thank the spirits.” Then she was able to meet her brother-in-law’s gaze. She blinked, taking in his appearance. His shirt was wrinkled, his hair was a mess, and there were bags under his eyes…. “You don’t look so fine, though. What happened to you?” She raised an eyebrow, noticing a bandage around one of his fingers. “And your hand. What…?”

“Oh yeah…. Fiestypants has a strong right hook,” he laughed faintly, rubbing the back of his head.

Elsa folded her arms and gave him a smug look. “I could have told you that.”

Kristoff rolled his eyes. “So, you ready to go see them?”

Elsa gasped. “Yes! Of course!”

“Oh! Me, too?” Olaf asked hopefully.

Kristoff bit his lower lip. “Oh...um...not now, Olaf. Just Elsa,” he told him apologetically.

Olaf’s face fell. He scrunched his body in tight, almost as if he would morph into a misconfigured snowball.

Elsa’s look softened. Olaf must have been just as excited as she was. He only wanted to be a part of it. “Hey…” she knelt back down to him. “I’m sure it’s because Anna’s so exhausted. She can probably only handle one person at a time right now.”

Olaf tilted his head in confusion. “How much work is it to make a baby anyway?”

Elsa’s body stiffened. She exchanged looks with Kristoff, who appeared just as on edge about the question.

“I don’t feel comfortable talking about that,” he blurted out.

“But…” Olaf started.

“You heard Kristoff,” Elsa cut him off.

“I just wanna know…”

“Not until you’re older.”

“But I’m older now!”

“Not old enough.”

“I can handle it!”

“We are not having this discussion right now.”

“Oh come on, pleeeeaaaaase?”

“My answer is final.”

“I can handle it.”

“Kristoff can barely handle it.”

“Hey!” the blond gasped, “speak for yourself!”

Olaf sat back down, turned his head away, and folded his arms in disappointment.

Elsa sighed. “Olaf, I promise, one of us will come and get you when it’s your turn.”

“Not fair,” he mumbled.

Elsa paused, pursing her lips. “Could I hear one more fact before I go? Please?”

Olaf clicked his tongue. “Um…. Owls are one of the only birds that can see the color blue.”

“I think I like that one,” Elsa nodded. “Thank you, Olaf. We’ll see you soon.” She gave him a soft hug before following Kristoff down the hall. “‘Speak for yourself’? What kind of comeback was that?” she teased him.

“Hey, your reaction was about as good as mine,” Kristoff replied.

Elsa smirked, though she kept herself poised as usual. “Excuse me, I can create life out of snow without the help of any guy. You’re the one who actually passed out when Anna told us.”

Kristoff held up a finger and opened his mouth, ready to retort. However, Elsa’s smug look was enough to prove that she was right and Kristoff had no response. Groaning, he put his hand down. “Ok fine, you got me there,” he confessed. But not before muttering under his breath, “Sassypants.”

“Excuse me?” she raised an eyebrow.

“Nothing,” he answered quickly.

“No, no, go ahead and tell me what you were thinking,” she said.

“I wasn’t thinking anything. I don’t even think,” he retorted. He paused. “Wait, what?”

His reaction caused Elsa to let out a laugh.

“Oh, very funny,” he rolled his eyes. “I hate it when you do that.”

“You fall for it every time,” she shrugged her shoulders.

Kristoff shook his head. He turned the corner, leading her to where they needed to go. “Hey by the way, thanks for getting here so quickly,” he said, changing the subject.

“For Anna? Anything,” she stated obviously.

“I know, but this wasn’t the plan at all,” he replied. “So I’m sorry if we interrupted any important spirit work you were supposed to do today.”

Elsa blinked. Important spirit work. Right, that. She was definitely supposed to do important spirit work today. Not that she was supposed to spend the morning with Honeymaren and the reindeer. Well, yes, she was going to do that. But that wasn’t the _only_ thing she had to do. It wasn’t even something she had to do; just something she wanted to do…. But she should because Honeymaren’s her friend and she said she would help so it was the right thing to do. And that was an important spirit job. Helping people. Her friends. The ones she cared about. Not using it as an excuse to get closer to someone at all.

“It’s nothing that can’t wait,” she spat out a bit too quickly.

Kristoff raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Absolutely.”

“So everything’s fine.”

“Completely.”

“What about that flurry next to you?”

Elsa’s eyes darted to her left. Indeed, a tiny grey cloud was hovering next to her leaving a thin path of snowflakes. Where did that come from? Elsa totally had her powers under control! That never happened anymore when she became nervous…. Mostly. Shaking her hand, the cloud fluttered away into thin air.

“What flurry?”

Kristoff narrowed his gaze. But once again, Elsa did her best to maintain her composure. Hands cupped in front of her. Straight back. Eyes forward. Light steps. Seemingly nothing out of the ordinary. “Riiiiiight. So, just to be clear, there’s nothing going on.”

As long as questioning her feelings for someone who she regarded as one of her closest, if not only, friends was nothing. Then yes, absolutely nothing was going on. But she wasn’t going to mention that.

Instead, she offered him a light smile. “Kristoff, I’m fine. I’m here for Anna, remember? She’s the one with the big thing going on in her life right now.”

“Hey, I am, too,” he pointed out, “I have the sprained finger to prove it.” They stopped in front of the door at the end of the hall. Kristoff placed his hand on the knob before turning to his pseudo sister. “You ready?”

Her smile grew. “Yes, of course!”

The door cracked open. Kristoff stuck his head in first. “Anna? Someone’s here to see you.” He pushed the door open the rest of the way, allowing room for Elsa to walk in. The room was dim; Elsa presumed it was so too many bright lights against the darkening night sky wouldn’t overwhelm the baby. Anna lay on her bed, sitting up slightly with support thanks to some pillows. Her hair was a mess, much more of a bird’s nest compared to Kristoff’s. Her eyes drooped, as if she were fighting to keep them opened. And understandably so, when they were glued to the bundle wrapped in a lavender blanket in her arms. And when her eyes moved to see her sister waiting for her, they only seemed to glow with more happiness. She spoke softly, almost hoarsely, but there was still an excited squeal to her tone.

“Elsa! You made it!”

Elsa barely heard Kristoff say, “I’ll give you girls some time” before she ran over to the bed. Most times when Elsa moved, it was still as though she were a queen. Regal, poised, and gentle. This particular instance, there were less steps between her and Anna. She moved with leaps and joy in her steps, the way Anna did, as if she couldn’t wait to reach her sister. Elsa climbed on the bed and crawled over to Anna, wrapping an arm around her and enveloping her in a tight hug. She kept her other arm loose in front of her sister, so as not to disturb the baby.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” Elsa apologized softly.

“That’s ok,” Anna yawned. “I knew you’d come.”

“You really are exhausted. You should get some sleep, it’s been a long day for you,” the blonde told her.

“What? No. I’m, I’m so awake right now,” she replied sleepily. “I...I never felt more awake.”

“Sure you are,” Elsa giggled. She adjusted herself so her grip loosened more around her sister, but sat up so she would be in a more comfortable position until Anna would shoo her out. Rather, if Anna would shoo her out. Elsa glanced back and forth between her sister and the baby. “How are you feeling, really? How was it? How is she? Or he?”

Anna giggled. “She.”

Elsa’s eyes fixated on the bundle. She was sleeping soundly, for now it seemed. Huh. All that work to come early and she couldn’t even stay awake long enough to say hello. “Welcome to the world, little one.”

“We just…” Anna paused to yawn, “we just didn’t name her yet. We thought we had some more time.”

“You should get some sleep,” Elsa suggested.

“But you just got here…” Anna replied.

“Ok. We’re doing this then,” the blonde decided. She adjusted herself a bit more so Anna’s head was resting comfortably on her shoulder. _“Where the north wind meets the sea…”_

“I know...I know exactly what you, you think you’re doing…” Anna commented drowsily.

Elsa shook her head. She gently slid her finger down Anna’s nose. _“There’s a river full of memories. Sleep, my darling, safe and sound. For in this river all is found.”_

In no time at all, Anna was sound asleep snoring against her sister. And before she knew it, Elsa slowly drifted off as well.

\---

The sun rose late the next morning yet Elsa awoke early anyway. While she wouldn’t say she fell back into her old duties, she was trying to do her part to make the day easier for Anna and Kristoff. The only staff that was to bother Anna was Kai and Gerda, though she used the term loosely. Kristoff had a meeting for lunch with some dignitaries from other kingdoms since Anna was now preoccupied. Unfortunately one of the lords would only be at port for the day so there was no choice but for Kristoff to sit in. Elsa attempted to prepare him as she assisted Olina in the kitchen, setting up breakfast for Anna. Any other staff member that entered inquired about Anna and Elsa, being the good sister that she was, politely let them know to give the queen some privacy for at least the day. She also offered Kai a friendly reminder not to make an official announcement to Arendelle until a name was chosen. Once Kristoff was whisked away to the Grand Hall for the meeting only Elsa and Olina were left in the kitchen.

“Are you sure this will suffice for Her Majesty?” Olina inquired, eyeing the tray of various breakfast foods.

It wasn’t much, Elsa would admit, but she knew her sister. Anna was not a morning person. And if the baby became cranky there would likely be little time for Anna to eat. “If she needs anything else I will personally fetch it myself,” the blonde promised. Moving a kettle from the heat, she proceeded to pour it into a mug.

Olina raised an eyebrow. “Hot chocolate? On a warm morning like this?”

“Anna’s been on a chocolate withdrawal for six months. She has a lot of catching up to do,” Elsa commented. Spirits, she hoped the baby wasn’t averse to chocolate after that! The torture Anna must have gone through actually becoming sick from the scent of the delectable treats! “And the food for Kristoff’s meeting?”

“Are being delivered from Blodgett’s Bakery,” Olina confirmed, “as per the queen’s request.”

Likely Anna’s way of giving Olina a break from preparing so many different foods throughout the pregnancy. What was one of the oddities…? Krumkaker topped with steamed carrots? Or was it glogg? Ugh, both sounded absolutely horrible! “Well, it certainly goes to show our visitors the faith Anna has in our people. We do stand for the good of the many and Anna’s always done her part to be sure the businesses are bountiful.”

“As have you, Your Highness,” Olina complimented. “And as I’m sure this little one will follow. Arendelle will be overjoyed to hear of the new arrival.”

“Which will not be at least for another day. So if anyone asks,” Elsa reminded her. She briefly turned her attention to Gerda as she entered, asking to take the breakfast tray to Anna.

“Of course,” Olina acknowledged. “And it will be delightful to hear the pitter patter of little feet again. The castle will be full of young energy once more.”

Elsa giggled after thanking Gerda. She returned to Olina, “Of course. Anna always said she wanted a large family. Everything is falling exactly into place.”

“Well...almost everything,” Olina stated.

The blonde raised an eyebrow. “Almost?”

Olina hesitated. “Has the queen not expressed interest in you joining her?”

Elsa blinked. Had Anna pried about Elsa’s new life in Northuldra? Certainly there had been plenty of times she had hinted about Elsa’s love life. Of course, that was non-existent. At least, Elsa was fairly certain. There was no man that was for sure. Except for Ryder, though he was more like a second Kristoff. A little brother, if she would. The only other person Elsa had gotten close to was Honeymaren. But that wasn’t the same thing…. Was it?

Elsa offered a nervous laugh. “Uh huh...I don’t think that is in my future.”

Olina’s face fell. “Really now? That’s a shame. It would have been so nice to see your children grow up together.”

Elsa knew it was unintentional, but it was said with so much pity. As if Olina somehow felt sorry for her. It sent a sour feeling into Elsa’s stomach. 

“But you have turned down many a suitor in the past. I suppose it shouldn’t come as a complete surprise,” Olina continued.

Elsa bit her lower lip. That was true; she had turned away a few men. Princes from other countries on political visits had come to court her. If anything, to form a new alliance with their home country. But even then, spending her life with a man...it didn’t sit right. And why should it? It wasn’t as though she needed someone. She had Anna; that was more than enough. And with Anna came Olaf and Kristoff. Those were the only men Elsa needed in her life. Acknowledging that truth, she felt a dark cloud begin to disperse. She was at peace with her decision, as she knew Anna was. As long as no one else prodded, nothing more was to be said. So in an attempt to put the conversation to a complete halt, Elsa offered a simple response.

“My duty to Arendelle was far more important than finding a mate. And watching over the Enchanted Forest, helping the spirits, traveling back and forth...that is what I’m meant to do. Not raise children.”

“As you wish,” Olina nodded. “But know if you change your mind they will always have a place here. And Arendelle and Northuldra would only be connected deeper.”

The dark cloud returned. Olina did have a point. Arendelle and Northuldra were connected by love - not only Anna and Elsa’s love, but also their parents’. If the sisters both had children, then the lines of blood would only continue to grow through both provinces the connection would never be broken. Whereas with Elsa, it would end with her. She hadn’t thought of that. Was she really missing out on something? Was there something wrong with her for not showing interest in any men before? For not showcasing any desire to marry or start a family? For focusing on her duties? For being happy where she was? With who she finally was? For actually feeling comfortable for once in her life, living her truth, having peace inside herself and beside the spirits, and finally opening up to people outside of her family?

Unlike the previous night when walking with Kristoff, this time Elsa could feel a small flurry forming beside her. Quickly shaking her head, she managed to suppress it. For the time being.

“Please excuse me.”

She exited the kitchen and made her way through the castle. She just needed to get to Anna. Focus on her; focus on the baby. Think about what their lives would look like now. How much fuller it would be. How happy she was for her sister. Look to the future; imagine her niece visiting her in Northuldra where Elsa could teach her everything she’s learned thus far. Where she could develop a connection to nature, with the spirits, with the animals - Ryder would certainly make sure of the latter. Where she could see the Northuldra work together and learn about part of her heritage. Where Honeymaren could teach her how to defend herself and never back down. There were so many memories ready to be had with the growing family; Elsa need only think about that.

Get it together, Elsa, she thought, focus.

“Your Majesty!”

Elsa stopped dead in her tracks, nearly running into someone. Quickly regaining her balance, she took a step back and eyed the man that materialized in front of her. “Oh...not exactly. You are thinking of my sister,” she corrected apologetically. She tilted her head curiously. His attire resembled the kingdom of Zaria, but he was not the usual dignitary she recalled from past meetings. “Forgive me but I do not believe we formally met. The kingdom of Zaria, correct?”

“Lord Tomas of Zaria,” he nodded. “I am filling in. My prince apologizes for his absence.”

That was right, Elsa remembered. There had been an emergency and the prince of Zaria was to send one of his advisors instead. “Of course. Princess Elsa of Arendelle.” Though a title was no longer necessary for her, she felt it served as an asset for Anna. That, by all accounts, Arendelle continued to have two royals and Elsa would always be there to have her sister’s back.

“Ah yes, my prince as mentioned,” Tomas recalled. “You’re quite the talk of many kingdoms.”

“Thank you?” she nodded. Although it may have come out as more of a question.

“Will you be sitting in on the meeting with us today, Princess? I’ve heard nothing but praises of the way you speak and carry yourself among others.”

It came with years of building up a wall and always wearing a mask, Elsa thought. But that was no one’s business.

“I am only here to visit my sister. King Kristoff is in the Great Hall with the other dignitaries. You are in fine hands,” she answered.

“I heard the news upon my arrival. How is the queen feeling?” Tomas inquired.

“Quite well, thank you. Now if you will excuse me please,” she nodded. Elsa proceeded to walk around him and head towards the staircase. However the Lord’s voice distracted her.

“And what of you?”

She turned to him. “What about me?”

“Well this is quite the occasion for you as well. I only assume it excites you for when your time arrives,” he commented.

Elsa raised an eyebrow. “I’m sorry?”

“Surely a woman of your caliber will be continuing the bloodline,” he summarized.

Not again.

“I have my own job to focus on and a sister I should return to.”

“So you’ve not been courting then?”

How she’s tried countless times to avoid doing so.

“The thought has not crossed my mind.”

“Surely you will change your mind now.”

“How so?”

“Well suppose Her Majesty only produces the one heir.”

“I can assure you, that will not be the case.”

“From what I’ve gathered you hold your kingdom quite dear to you.”

“The people have always come first, as has my job.”

“Then why do you deprive them of something they need?”

“They have all they need with Anna.”

“Babies have a funny way of getting to you.”

“My mind is made up.”

“It is part of your duty.”

“Enough.”

“I am only saying-”

“And I’m saying enough!”

And just like that the storm cloud returned beside her. Elsa could feel a cold gust of wind brewing beside her. It blew her blonde locks off her shoulders, throwing flakes of snow in front of her. Still, she could see the Lord’s shocked face through the ice. And she could read the expression in his eyes clear as day - ‘what the hell is going on?’ So Elsa did the only thing she could think of.

She ran.

She ran past the Lord and past anyone else that may have been coming in her direction. Behind her she could feel the grey cloud quickly approaching. It wasn’t long before it hovered over her head. She could feel her chest tightening, her breath becoming short with each stride she took. She had to get out of here; she had to get away from this. All of this. Where to go, she asked herself as she skidded around a few staff members. She could run to the North Mountain again. She could escape back to the Enchanted Forest. Maybe all she needed to do was duck into the woods, into her own ice hut and away from people. Away from these prodding eyes and questions. The ones that once regarded her as so strong and looked to her for guidance and protection were now filled with doubt. Asking if she was doing the right things. If she was missing out on something. Why, after such a short time as queen Anna could do the one thing Else could not.

The snow fell harder over her, vision steadily growing whiter. Get it together, Elsa, she thought again. Focus, focus! She normally had her powers completely under control. She was doing so much better. She wielded them with so much more confidence now. She knew what she was doing. Why today, why this particular instance? Last night, and now this morning...it felt like so much at once. How soon would it come again? How long would it take before she risked losing control again? Where was she going? Was another blizzard starting? She couldn’t see anything. Her chest grew tighter still and her breath more hitched. What if after what if flooded her mind. Until….

“Whoa!”

Before she knew it, Elsa crashed into someone head on. She felt herself roll over once, then twice, until her torso covered the other person. Her legs skidded across the ground, likely offering her a few scratches as a result. The snowfall above her steadied at the distraction, Elsa’s vision returning. Hands gripping the stones beneath her, she pushed herself up so she was on her knees. A groan escaped her, as did one from underneath. What had she…?

“Well that was some greeting.”

Elsa’s eyes widened. Jolting up so she was now sitting on her knees, Elsa quickly pulled her hands to her chest. “Honeymaren!” she gasped.

The brunette beneath her let out a chuckle. “Nice to see you, too.”

Of course she had said it in such a playful tone. Honeymaren was one to tell it like it was, but she also had such a teasing side to her. Not once was anything she said to Elsa in ill will. In fact, no one had been more welcoming than Honeymaren. Elsa could almost feel her cheeks heating up at the sentiment. She was here. In Arendelle. Elsa practically ran her over.

Oh shit.

“Wh…. What are you doing here?”

Honeymaren arched her back. She opened her mouth to answer, but stopped herself when the snowflakes dusted her face. “I could ask that, the same thing,” she pointed upwards.

Elsa followed the direction. The ice! Removing one of her hands, she shook it violently in the air, forcing the storm cloud to vanish. For the most part. She managed to stop the snowfall, at least. “I am so sorry about that! It’s just been-”

“Hey, hey.” Honeymaren’s calm tone cut Elsa off. She reached across and took Elsa’s free hand in hers, giving it a light squeeze. “It’s alright. You don’t have to explain anything to me. I’m fine. You’re fine.”

She always seemed to do that - talk to Elsa like she was any other person. There was never any judgment or malice in her tone. Not once did Honeymaren ever poke at Elsa for information or force her to discuss something. All too quickly she seemed to accept that Elsa was someone to keep to herself. Someone who would open up at her own pace. And surely enough, that’s exactly what she did. Honeymaren respected her enough as a person, trusted her enough to make the first move should she need it. Of course if it ever involved anything Northuldra, Honeymaren would inquire first if Elsa needed assistance. Not once had she forced herself into anything. It was just...acceptance. Honeymaren never needed any explanations. Only for Elsa to be Elsa.

The blonde’s breath slowed at the comfort. Yet her heart continued to race. Why was that? The...the adrenaline or, or the shock. The suddenness of everything. It had to be one of those. There was no other answer. Certainly it wasn’t the warmth radiating from Honeymaren’s grip. It was all just the shock. She was ok.

And still on the ground in the middle of the castle courtyard!

“Oh! Here, let me help you up…” she offered quickly. Elsa rose to her feet first and, though she attempted to pull Honeymaren up herself, the brunette seemed to rise on her own simultaneously. Yet their hands remained in each other’s grasp. “That was…”

“A rough morning?” she guessed.

Elsa bit her bottom lip. “You could say that.” Wait...morning. It was still morning. A combination of confusion and concern quickly consumed her. “But...but you…. When did… How did… Why…” Oh spirits, why couldn’t she get any full sentences out?

Fortunately her friend seemed to find it humorous. “Not long. Kai only took my reindeer to the stables a few minutes ago. He said he’d find you for me.”

A few minutes ago? Elsa’s brows furrowed. But that meant…. “Did...did you ride through the night? Wha...what were, were you racing to get here?”

Honeymaren blinked. For once she didn’t respond right away. “Oh…. No. I mean, I did...ride. Through the night. I did ride all night. It, it was all Aksel, of course. He was a real trooper. But it, it was no big deal. He’s fine. I’m fine.”

“Why, though?” Elsa wondered. “Did something happen, or…?”

“No, no. Nothing happened,” she promised. “I just wanted to get here, was all. You know, I saw your reaction. To the note. Anna being early. And I figured you might….”

Her voice trailed off. Elsa might what? Need her? Be happy to see her? Want her to be there? 

Honeymaren quickly cleared her throat. Removing her free hand from her mouth, she placed it over her satchel. “I figured it was the right thing to do,” she finished quickly. “To come. For support. From Northuldra. For you. Anna. For Anna.”

Right. Honeymaren was there when Gale delivered the message. Even though Elsa had left in such haste, Honeymaren knew exactly what was going on. She was right; it was the right thing to do. For Anna, of course. To come and represent Northuldra. Offer congratulations. Be a good friend. That made perfect sense. 

Except for the fact that she’d been traveling all night, darting south as fast as she could. “And you must be exhausted!” Elsa realized. “You should rest.”

Honeymaren brushed it off. “I’ve pulled all nighters before.”

“No, no. I insist. Here, let me show you to….” She began to tread back into the castle when her voice faded. She was tugging on something. What was? 

Honeymaren’s hand! She was still holding it!

Letting out a silent gasp, Elsa quickly let it go. As soon as she did, the warmth vanished. Almost as quickly as Elsa pulled back, Honeymaren retreated so now both of her hands gripped on her satchel. Elsa averted her gaze, hoping the pink spread across her pale face was unnoticeable. “Um...a room! A room, I should...I should show you to a room. You need some rest,” she blurted.

Honeymaren cleared her throat and followed the Snow Queen inside. “Right. Um...sure…. Thank you.”

The silence as they ascended the staircase was painful. Elsa bit her tongue, already feeling a rapid pang against her chest. She kept her hands clasped together in front of her, hoping to not accidentally freeze something. Her eyes darted back and forth briefly, wondering if the cloud would make a return appearance. They made it up the stairs, down the hall, and past a few royal portraits. No flurry. Good.

“How is she?”

Elsa held back a squeak at Honeymaren’s sudden question. A grey cloud briefly materialized next to her only to quickly form a snowflake and then vanish once again. “I’m sorry?”

“Anna,” her friend responded quickly. “How is she? Did she…?”

“Oh.” Elsa placed her hand over her chest with relief. “She’s fine. She had the baby last night. Or, early evening, I suppose? I didn’t make it; I was with Olaf.”

“I’m sorry,” Honeymaren apologized.

“Oh, please don’t be,” Elsa shook her head. “Kristoff fetched me afterwards. I spent the night in their room.” She paused. “But...I will probably stay longer this time.”

Another pause.

Not that it should have come as a surprise. Oftentimes when Elsa visited Arendelle she would spend the weekend, at least. And, of course, during the few times where Elsa’s experience as queen was required, that visit would last roughly a week. After spending so much time in Northuldra, becoming accustomed to it, and referring to it as her home, it felt odd to be away for so long. Of course, Arendelle would always be Elsa’s home as well. But as to where she belonged? Or perhaps where she felt most drawn? That would be the former.

“How long?”

Elsa bit her tongue. “Two weeks...at least.” Her eyes shifted downward, focusing on the pattern of the rug in front of her. “I shouldn’t be away from Anna right now. I can’t. This...this is…” She moved her arms up, as if to gesture to something. All she could do was acknowledge all of her surroundings. How could she even begin to describe it?

“I get it,” Honeymaren nodded. “Your place right now is with your sister.”

Elsa sighed. “I’m the only family she has, Maren. If things were different….” She suddenly felt a warm hand on her bare shoulder.

“But they’re not,” she finished knowingly. “And you’ve every right to be here for as long as you feel necessary. Pay no mind to the forest. We’ll look after it for you.”

“And the spirits…?” she asked hesitantly.

“Will understand,” Honeymaren answered. “You are still human. With a life and family of your own. They can manage a bit longer this time.”

The words stung. _A family of your own._ Elsa’s face fell. “Not according to everyone else.” She pulled out of Honeymaren’s gentle touch. Her voice was soft, though not warm as usual. This time there was sadness behind it.

“What?” Honeymaren raised an eyebrow with confusion.

Elsa stopped at her bedroom door near the end of the hall. She turned the knob. “It’s nothing,” she lied.

The Northuldra shook her head and followed her friend inside. “A response like that isn’t nothing. ‘Everyone else’?”

“Maybe not everyone,” she confessed. “It’s only been twice.”

“It sounds like twice too many,” Honeymaren commented.

Elsa sat at the edge of her bed. She kept her gaze downward and gently gripped the sheets beneath her. “Maybe I’m thinking too much.”

Honeymaren closed the door. She removed her satchel from her shoulder. Steadily she joined Elsa on the bed and sat her bag behind them. She removed her hat and placed it on the pillow, although her eyes remained on her friend. Though Elsa could feel her gaze on her, she did not look up. “Do you want to talk about it?”

The Snow Queen shook her head lightly. “I don’t want to put anything on you.”

“You won’t. You’re not,” she promised. Honeymaren’s touch found Elsa’s shoulder again. There was a slight flinch at the sudden sensation, which Elsa hoped Honeymaren merely took as surprise. There was nothing bad about her touch, not by a long shot. Honeymaren pursed her lips. Removing her hand, which actually was a surprise, she instead held it out. Elsa tilted her head at the offering. “You can tell me,” Honeymaren promised. “If you want to. And if you don’t? That’s all right as well. I will still be there. If you will have me.”

If? That seemed like a pretty heavy ‘if’. As if there would be any other answer. As if Elsa could imagine it differently. As if this...them...wasn’t something. Or if it suddenly…. Elsa didn’t even have the words. In most cases, with anyone but Anna, she would likely recoil again. But things were different with Honeymaren; the answer was a no-brainer. With the faintest of smiles, Elsa raised her hand and placed it in her friend’s palm. Her soft tone returned, but this time it wasn’t with sadness. It was with gratitude. And something else. Something Elsa couldn’t quite put her finger on, but knew she dare not use it with anyone else.

“Thank you.”

And at the sound of her voice, Honeymaren’s hand closed in Elsa’s. The tight grip returned, as did the warm sensation. But this time it didn’t come with a snow cloud. There wasn’t heaviness in Elsa’s chest. As a matter of fact, Elsa couldn’t help but pull Honeymaren’s hand closer, resting both against her chest. Just like that, so much like the flurries from before, the fears melted away.

\---

_You must be so excited._

_The baby fever will be hitting in no time!_

_I bet you can’t wait!_

_When will you have?_

_Who’s the lucky man?_

BUP!

It was the faintest of burps - or perhaps a hiccup? - But it was just enough to pull Elsa away from her thoughts. Her gaze came into focus on the bundle beneath her. The baby was settling into Elsa’s arms calmly.

It couldn’t have been more than five minutes since Elsa took over for Anna’s well-deserved bath and in that short amount of time the comments people made throughout the day came rushing back to her. But, so much like Anna, the baby already seemed to know exactly when Elsa needed to get out of her head.

She sighed. “What is the big deal about babies anyway?” she muttered to herself, a question more filled with confusion than cynicism. 

The infant responded by rubbing her cheek against Elsa’s chest.

The blonde rolled her eyes playfully. “Of course; you are the exception.” She offered her niece a small smile, though it was hardly noticeable through closed eyes. It was for the best; she shouldn’t see Elsa conflicted like this. Of all the people Elsa needed to be a role model, guidance, and a light for, the people of Arendelle paled in comparison to her niece. At one point Elsa thought she wanted to succeed as queen so badly, for the sake of her people. To an extent, that desire - or perhaps fear - followed her to Northuldra, as she hoped to do the same as the fifth spirit. But now? No one could ever need her more than the baby.

She really hoped Anna and Kristoff would choose a name soon; she could only be referred to as ‘the baby’ for so long.

“What should I even call you until your mama and papa stop being so indecisive?”

“Well you could always be like Ryder and say the first name that pops into his mind.”

Elsa’s head shot up. Through the cracked doorway she could see Honeymaren. The blonde let out a faint giggle. “Is that how he names the reindeer?”

Honeymaren shrugged. “He also stares long and hard at them before coming up with the most preposterous name.”

Figured.

“May I?”

Elsa nodded, giving Honeymaren the opportunity to push the door open. She closed it softly behind her and then sat to Elsa’s left. She placed her satchel behind them and looked down at the infant, who was facing in her direction yet seeming to fall asleep.

“Did you have a nice nap?” Elsa wondered.

Honeymaren shifted her gaze. “I didn’t even realize I fell out.”

“I didn’t want to wake you,” Elsa admitted. “Kristoff’s meeting ran late so I’ve been running around the castle. Sometimes I forget how draining it is to deal with so many people at once. And now, with this little one, it seems to have increased tenfold.”

“Maybe it’s the innocence of babies. What most need to do is look at one and suddenly they turn into a puddle,” Honeymaren suggested.

Elsa’s stare fixated on the infant. “I think I’m the exception to that rule.”

“Not with the way you’re looking at her. Not with the love you have and show for your family,” Honeymaren commented.

The sentiment caused a blush to cover Elsa’s cheeks again. Yet despite the fact that the reaction came so easily with her friend, this time it seemed to leave as quickly as it came. “Not everyone appears to think the same.”

The brunette tilted her head. “Are you ready to talk about it?” she offered.

Elsa sighed. “What is there to even talk about? I’m clearly not the person people expected me to be. I wasn’t even the queen they expected.”

“Magical powers revealing you to be a goddess would do that,” Honeymaren said.

Elsa’s eyes widened and her head snapped to her left.

Honeymaren blinked. Elsa could have sworn some color flashed across her tanned cheeks but, unlike her who tried to cover it, Honeymaren almost seemed to will it away. “Fifth spirit...goddess...same thing.”

Did she...did she think of Elsa as a goddess? Did...did she just _call_ Elsa a goddess? To her face? The heat came staggering back.

Honeymaren cleared her throat. “My point is, you’ve never seemed to exactly be...conventional.”

Elsa pursed her lips. “You are right about that.” She paused, her grip on the baby tightening. Fortunately it didn’t seem to disturb her. “Did you...have you…. Was there ever a time when you felt you were letting anyone down?” It sounded so silly coming out of her mouth. Honeymaren letting anyone down. What a laugh.

She shrugged. “I mean I very rarely apologize for being myself. I’ve always worked and tried hard. It isn’t easy when people look to you as one of the strongest in your tribe. But….” Her gaze shifted upward, thinking back. “There was this one instance, when I was much younger. It was my first time alone herding the reindeer. But I became turned around and got lost. Would’ve walked right off a cliff if Aksel hadn’t grabbed my tunic. While not a rite of passage, it was still a big deal. And, though Yelena was understanding...and a bit disappointed...I still felt like I failed.”

While the story wasn’t quite like Elsa had experienced her fears, there remained a shared fear of failing. Both had important jobs to do and one wrong move nearly cost them. The only difference was, Honeymaren spoke so candidly about it. As if it was merely something that happened, that she survived, and successfully moved on from. Elsa still hesitated to talk about her many fears and continued to dwell on the past.

“It isn’t that I have any regrets about my actions as queen. Not particularly,” Elsa admitted. “In those moments and in the aftermath, yes. But when I look back now and I see Anna....” Another pause. “There are so many reasons why she should have been crowned from the start. And now there is an even more jarring reason.”

Honeymaren raised an eyebrow. Her eyes darted from Elsa to the baby and then back to Elsa. “Because Anna wanted a family?”

Elsa exhaled slowly. “Because I never did.” Slowly, the storm inside her chest reared its ugly head again. “I didn’t _have_ to court any princes or lords. It.... It was preferred, of course, but...not necessarily required should things have fallen differently. Kristoff is...phew, absolutely _not_ what anyone expected. But...it was still expected. That I at the very least entertain those men. Consider the possibilities. Nothing was forced….”

“Elsa, are you blabbing?” Honeymaren teased.

The Snow Queen narrowed her gaze. “Really?”

“Sorry.” She shook her head. “Ok. So you didn’t like any of those men. Or, you don’t like men. We have that established.”

Again she spoke so candidly. As if it were so obvious. Maybe it was to Honeymaren. Or it was now. But to Elsa it never was. It all came together, but ultimately did little to put Elsa’s mind at ease. If her sexuality hadn’t been a question before, it certainly was now. But when would she have had time to question? How could she begin to put it into words? How could anyone understand? It wasn’t the questioning; at least, Elsa didn’t believe it was. Not fully. It was something else.

It was her. The storm inside of her. The one that was always there. The one that was brewing now. The one that could create both beautiful and deadly pillars and sculptures of ice. The one that could plunge a kingdom into an eternal winter. The one that froze her sister’s heart. The one that awakened angry spirits. The one that made _her_ a spirit.

Another deep breath. “I was always so focused on keeping my powers under control. ‘Conceal it, don’t feel it.’ That is what I was taught. But it wasn’t just my magic I tried to conceal. It was me. Myself, my feelings...everything. The only person who could break through all of that, shatter the ice, whether the storm, and save me was Anna. Sometimes it takes all I have not to slam the door in her face again, because it was all I knew how to do. To shut her out. Shut everyone out. How could I begin to think of a life with anyone...to even look at anyone...until I learn to open the door?”

It was a lot to unpack, a lot for anyone to take in. And in the grand scheme of things it was only the beginning. She didn’t expect Honeymaren to know how to react or what to say. This time, Elsa doubted her friend could do anything to put her mind at ease. She could almost feel ice crawling up her skin. Not literally, but rather as a permanent door. A door that no one could crack. A door that no one dare try to open. Perhaps it was for the best. Although she would always have Anna, and now her niece, Elsa’s life otherwise was meant to be alone. Behind a locked door crafted of solid ice. She would let in only her family and no one else.

Once again Honeymaren’s hand found a way to Elsa’s shoulder. The ice in the former queen’s veins subsided. She froze in place, but not in disappointment. In shock. In relief. In.... Happiness?

“You started to let me in.”

Honeymaren’s response was so simple, but it rang with so much truth. More than Elsa realized. She did start to let Honeymaren in. It still felt only like a crack; but it was a crack for her specifically. Enough to know that Honeymaren was there. Enough to let her warmth in. Enough to see her smile. Enough for her not to force her way in, but just enough to stick her hand through. To leave it there for Elsa to take when she was ready. Elsa didn’t let anyone so much as touch her; she always had to be the one to initiate. She allowed very few people to make the first move. Anna was always. Kristoff was sometimes, though he still would look for permission regardless. Honeymaren was the only other person. The only person who touched her outside of her family. The only other person who could sit so close to Elsa. The only person who didn’t cause Elsa to recoil instantly. The only other person Elsa could trust unconditionally. The only person….

“Maybe this will help.”

Her voice once again broke Elsa’s trance. Honeymaren removed her hand and reached behind her. Elsa turned her head, mouth slightly agape. For once she didn’t bother to conceal the color visible to her cheeks. Honeymaren opened her bag and pulled out a scarf. Elsa flinched. At first glance it almost looked like her mother’s scarf. But that couldn’t be...could it?

“It’s supposed to be for the baby,” Honeymaren explained, “but I think you need it more right now.”

Elsa’s brows furrowed. “You made this…?”

“Spirits, no!” Honeymaren laughed. “Just the design. Well, sort of. I asked one of my friends to put it together. I scribbled a few ideas. The color...it’s a little off, I think. But we tried to find a similar shade to Arendelle’s purple. From the flag you once showed me.” Her finger hovered over the pattern dancing across the edges. “The snowflakes, the diamonds...I know they’re not exactly like your mother’s scarf. Replacing it was never the intention. But it did serve as inspiration.” She pointed to the centerpiece. Or, more specifically, a second shape within it. “As did the flag. The symbols of the spirits, they’re not just circling the fifth one.”

Elsa squinted. It was almost difficult to tell at first, but the shape was recognizable. “Wait...the crocus?” she asked, referring to Arendelle’s official flower.

“You and Anna are Northuldra and Arendellian. It only felt right to incorporate both cultures together,” she nodded. “Like a marriage.”

The women turned bright red in unison.

Clearly it was a questionable choice of words.

“Combination!” Honeymaren blurted out. Clearing her throat, she flattened the scarf on the bed. “Of, of the two. A combination. Clearly. Obviously. Combination.”

“Uh...of course.”

“I just didn’t….”

“I know.”

“It wasn’t…”

“Right.”

“So…”

“Good.”

“We’re good?”

“We’re good.”

“Good.”

There was a brief, awkward silence.

“Actually…”

“Yes?”

Their gazes quickly found each other again. Elsa cleared her throat and then, almost nervously, focused on the scarf instead.

“I was...just curious about something.”

“Oh…” Honeymaren nodded. “What about…?”

“Have you…? Or do you…?” Oh what was a better way to word it? Maybe there wasn’t any specific way to word it. Arendelle and Northuldra were so different. Different people, different customs, different ways of thinking…. It was highly probable that Honeymaren wouldn’t be able to answer. Though, Elsa supposed there was no harm in trying. “I know it isn’t the same but was anything ever expected of you? The way you live your life...what you do with it...a...I don’t know...a path you’re supposed to follow?” She moved one hand onto the scarf, her other arm securing the princess in her grasp. Elsa’s pointer finger moved over the pattern, outlining each shape before moving onto the next as she spoke. As if it would help her figure out the proper wording.

“For some of us, I suppose. The leaders or the figureheads, for example,” she answered. Honeymaren placed a hand on the scarf, her finger hovering over a different segment of the pattern. She pointed to each shape as she described some of the people in her tribe. “The medicine woman...one of the heads...the elders...Yelena…. If anyone is in charge of anything they must set an example for those that follow them or train under them.” She then focused on the center of the pattern. “But at the end of the day, we are all one people. We all have our part to play and we do it. As long as we help each other out, as long as we do our part to be strong and protect each other. What we do as individuals, how we live our lives and truths, who we love, and what we decide to do or not do...as long as it does not negatively affect us as a unit then there are no questions or judgments. But then again,” she rested her hand flat against the fabric, “none of us are exactly royal. Our paths are not set out for us from day one.”

Elsa pursed her lips. “I suppose it isn’t the same thing.”

Honeymaren offered her a soft look. “I’m sorry I couldn’t answer your question.”

“I didn’t expect you to,” Elsa admitted. “I was curious.”

Honeymaren tapped her fingers. “But if it means anything at all, I’ve never thought of settling down myself.”

“Really?” Elsa asked, willing herself to meet her gaze.

The Northuldra shrugged. “I also take what I do seriously. My people come first. And if I were to ever be with a child, that would make it a bit difficult to protect them and my people. I’d be more worried about the little one and that isn’t fair to everyone else. Not when I’ve worked so hard to be someone they can depend on. That being said,” the faintest of smirks crossed her lips, “if the right woman ever presented herself I would hardly turn her away.”

Elsa blinked. It wasn’t _what_ Honeymaren said; that she already knew. It was _how_ she said it. And, more importantly, that she was looking directly at Elsa when she said it. Was she implying…? Was she thinking…? No! No, that couldn’t possibly be! Honeymaren didn’t look at her that way. After all, with everything Elsa laid out; with everything that she was; with how she presented herself; how could Honeymaren see a potential like that in her? What could possibly make Elsa even worth it to her? No. Queen of Arendelle, Snow Queen, Fifth Spirit, or even simply Elsa; whoever she was, she could not possibly hold a candle to Honeymaren Nattura.

“Ah! That really hit the spot!”

A surprisingly relaxed Anna appeared from behind the door, her nightgown on and her hair braided back as it dried off. She stretched her arms out and then nearly jumped onto the bed.

“Ok I’m ready, hand her back over!”

“Someone’s refreshed,” Elsa observed, straightening her position. She did not fight back as Anna happily snagged the sleeping baby from her arm. “Did you enjoy your bath?”

“Ugh if I didn’t have her I wouldn’t’ve gotten out!” Anna moaned.

“Told you so,” Elsa giggled.

Anna glared at her sister. She then turned her head to Honeymaren. “Is she this mean to you?”

The Northuldra shrugged. “No. Never.”

Anna gasped dramatically. “Traitor!” She stuck her tongue out at her sister before turning her attention back to her baby. “And how was this little one? Did you give your aunt any trouble?”

“She was a delight,” Elsa answered.

“She was asleep the whole time I was here,” Honeymaren added.

Elsa smirked, “Are you sure she’s your daughter?”

Anna nudged her. “Hey! Fine, you can actually watch the next one come out of me!”

Elsa flinched. “Oh! No, I think I’ll be fine.”

Anna giggled. The work of a younger sister was never done, Elsa supposed. “So! Honeymaren, when did you get here? How long are you staying for? Did you tell Ryder? Is he coming, too? Will you be staying with us?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to intrude. I just…” she nearly paused, “I wanted to make sure I was here to congratulate you and give you support.”

Anna sniffed. “Aw! That’s so sweet! Thank you! That means so much. Of course you can stay as long as you want to. Make yourself at home. Anything you want or need, just ask!”

“Say yes before her mood swings kick back in,” Elsa whispered.

“I heard that!” Anna gasped.

“Well I suppose I shouldn’t leave Elsa to deal by herself, now should I?” Honeymaren teased.

Elsa tucked some hair behind her ear, as if it was supposed to conceal her blush.

“Oh, you won’t be able to hide her from me. Baby or no baby, I will find her. We have _a lot_ of catching up to do,” Anna said.

“Did I not just see you last week?” Elsa inquired.

The redhead rolled her eyes. “Not that kind of catch up! Come on, Elsa, I should _not_ be this ahead of you!”

Elsa blinked. “Wait, what?”

Anna adjusted herself on the bed, jumping so her legs settled underneath her. She turned her body so she was facing her sister completely, all while keeping the baby tight in her arms. Somehow, the sudden movements didn’t seem to disturb her. What kind of heavy sleeper was this new arrival anyway? “Ok I mean I get the whole suddenly-becoming-a-spirit-and-moving-to-a-totally-new-place-that-you-need-to-adjust-to-and-learn-about deal. That was definitely an adjustment period. But that’s over, Elsa. It hasn’t been a few weeks or a few months. It’s been a few _years._ Don’t you think it’s time to, I dunno, meet someone? Give yourself that chance?”

Oh shit. No. No, no, no, no! Not Anna, too! Not now!

“I...I don’t know…”

“Oh come on, you can’t tell me you haven’t met anyone,” Anna coaxed.

Elsa’s hand slid off the scarf, gripping the blanket beneath her. She held up her other hand, signaling for Anna to stop. It wasn’t that she hadn’t...she did...but it...her...they…. Elsa’s thoughts began to swirl, becoming mixed up in each other.

“Anna now is not the time.” She tried to keep her tone calm and steady, as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

“I’m just saying, I know all those guys from the other kingdoms were…. Eeesh!” Anna cringed. “I totally wouldn’t have wanted them ogling me, either. I get it. They just weren’t right for you. But you’re exactly where you’re meant to be now, which means someone’s gotta be there for you, too. Someone Northuldra? Oh! Or maybe from another traveling group? Wait; are there other traveling groups? Or like, multiple Northuldra?”

“Please don’t,” Elsa repeated. She hoped that for once, her authoritative older sister voice would get through to Anna. She couldn’t let that dark cloud come back, not now.

“I know what you’re gonna say. That you have an important job to do. That you want to help and protect everyone. I get it Elsa, believe me, I actually get it! That’s what you do. That’s what you _always_ do!” Anna continued. “But for once why can’t you do something just for you? Why can’t you just let yourself open up to someone for once?”

The ice was returning, Elsa could feel it. She wanted to seal the door shut again. Not slam the door in Anna’s face that very second; she wasn’t at that breaking point just yet. But she could feel it creeping up on her. She could picture the door in front of her, steadily closing on Anna. It was her bedroom door. The same one that had kept them apart for so many years. At first there was ice in the center; it didn’t seem like much, only because the door could still open and close freely should Elsa choose. But it was starting. One snowflake made of ice. And then the corners started to spread.

“That’s...that’s not me. That’s not what I do.”

Though she didn’t come across as very convincing.

“But it could be. You can do both, Elsa. You don’t just have to be one thing for everybody,” Anna insisted. “Most people try their whole lives to find just _one_ person to do that for. But you don’t even give it a second thought. You’d do everything for everyone if you could. And that’s not fair. It’s not fair to you. And it’s not fair to the person who’s just sitting around waiting for you. Don’t you want that? That special thing with someone? To share something with someone? To start a family?”

There it was again. The assumption. The expectation. She was supposed to meet someone. She was supposed to show interest. She was supposed to want to get married and start a family. She was supposed to be a normal person. Whether it was as a queen or as a princess or as a Northuldra. But that wasn’t her. That was never her. No matter where she was or what she did, she would always be Elsa the Snow Queen. The ice spread further across the door; she could feel it wanting to close. To close on Anna. To close on everyone. And above her the dark cloud returned. Did it actually start to flurry yet? Did anyone even notice it? Elsa could feel it materializing; she knew it existed. Her heart rate increased.

“Anna. Please.”

Her voice began to falter. She was going to break. The flurry would turn into a blizzard. The white would cloud her vision as the door slammed in front of her. She’d be forever trapped.

“Elsa.” Now Anna’s voice had changed. It had gone from teasing to encouraging to prying to actually begging. She was worried. But she didn’t understand. How could she? Everything came so easily to Anna. The light around her. The people. Happiness. Kristoff. And now the baby. A complete life. A perfect life. “I don’t want to do this alone.”

But Anna wasn’t alone. She had Arendelle. She had a husband. She had a daughter. Her family would only continue to grow. Why did she need Elsa to be a part of it that way? Why was it so imperative that Elsa do the same? Why did she need a husband? Why should she have her own kids? Wasn’t...wasn’t her life full enough as it was? Weren’t there enough people already? Wasn’t _she_ enough?

Elsa’s chest tightened. Her body began to shake. Whether her vision was being clouded because of her emotions, her clouded mind, or actual snow, she had no idea. She just knew that Anna was vanishing into white. There was the door slowly shutting in front of her, ice sealing her away. Sealing Elsa’s fate. Even if the snowstorm wasn’t pouring down on her, as it was earlier, Elsa could feel it metaphorically. She could feel her hair crashing against her back, a few loose hairs slapping her across her face. She felt the cold surround her from every direction. The balls of ice pounding hard onto her head. The wind holding her in place. No one could get to her. No one could get in. And no one should. Elsa wanted to scream. She wanted to scream as loud as she could over the powerful tempest. To let it all out. To let whatever happened in that moment happen and pass. And then she could run. Run and hide like she always did. Because at least then no one could judge her. She wouldn’t be able to feel everyone’s eyes on her. To hear the pity in their voices. She could live her life out alone. As she was meant to. As she always expected to. If only she could just open her mouth and scream.

But something stopped her. All of a sudden she felt a tug on her hand. Something brushed over her skin - the scarf, most likely. Elsa’s hand was pulled and in the next second something latched on tight. Elsa’s breath was caught in her throat again, but this time for a very different reason. She knew that touch. That sensation. That warmth.

It was Honeymaren.

Elsa didn’t need to turn her head to see; it took her a moment to register as the frozen flakes halted in front of her. But she knew. Just when she had thought her body would start to shake beyond all control, when she felt she’d just let everything explode out of her, Honeymaren grabbed her hand. She pulled it under the scarf, out of sight from Anna. And she squeezed it. As hard as she could until Elsa’s shivers slowed. And though her heart continued to race, Elsa almost thought it had stopped. It was going so fast she could barely feel it in her chest anymore. 

Then she felt another movement. It was...softer? But the grip was still tight. And the warmth was still there. No.... It was moving. Honeymaren’s thumb was caressing Elsa’s hand. She wasn’t just being there when Elsa needed her. She didn’t wait for permission. Somehow she just knew. Even if there was a door of ice in front of Elsa. Even if there was a blizzard raining down on her. Even if she was frozen in place. There were all these obstacles in front of Elsa. Obstacles she made all on her own. But behind her? There was no wall of ice. There was no snow. There was no blockade. There was a door wide open. One for Honeymaren to walk right through. To stand right there behind Elsa. To offer her support. To help push her through. To lean forward and whisper words of encouragement into her ear. To catch Elsa if she fell. To do something the second Elsa asked, or even if she simply needed. To just be there.

Elsa felt her fingers clamp onto Honeymaren’s. Her breathing settled. Her vision started to return. Sitting behind her, offering her support and courage was Honeymaren. And in front of her sat a very worried Anna. Both women cared deeply for Elsa; she could feel it. They were two halves of Elsa’s whole. Neither would fully understand her, but they would both always accept her. She felt that from Honeymaren’s hold. And she felt that from the look in Anna’s eyes.

But what came with not understanding was also fear. And Anna was clearly terrified for Elsa. The look of concern was enough to break Elsa’s heart.

That was probably why Elsa, with all her might, could only offer the simplest response in a sound just above a whisper.

“I can’t.”

Without hesitation, Anna leaned forward. She rested her head on Elsa’s shoulder and her body relaxed against her older sister’s.

Then, a moment later, Elsa could feel Honeymaren’s head lean against her back.

Elsa closed her eyes. There was no door blocking anyone out. Nothing falling onto her. Nothing blurring her vision. No dark clouds or thoughts hovering over her.

Just warmth.

Acceptance.

Love.

The realization led to a few minutes of peaceful silence.

Finally, a soft statement from Anna was carried through. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to push you. I just want you to be happy.”

Elsa could hear the hurt and sincerity in Anna’s voice. Of course she never meant to break Elsa. How could she begin to comprehend what was going on in her head? But for once, she didn’t scold Elsa for shutting her out. She didn’t seem bothered or betrayed. She only felt sad that she added to the pressure Elsa was feeling. She hadn’t realized the weight that had suddenly been thrust on Elsa’s shoulders. And that was all right. None of that mattered to Elsa anymore. The thoughts, the comments, the stares, the pity, and the assumptions no longer plagued her soul.

She relaxed into the embraces. She pulled Honeymaren’s hand closer to her side, the scarf sliding across the bed with their hands. Their hold on each other was still out of sight and out of mind from Anna. Now wouldn’t have been the time anyway. All Elsa wanted was to feel the warmth spread across her body. She let out a sigh of relief of the feeling of Honeymaren against her. Then she moved her free hand onto the back of her sister’s head, lightly brushing her palm against the red locks. More warmth; a different kind of warmth. The kind only her sister could give her. She could feel the ice within her thaw. The storm was kept at bay, merely waiting to be set on a new course. Not to bother Elsa anymore. And with that, Elsa smiled.

“I am happy. I have my girls.”

\---

“Wow! So this is a baby…” Olaf stared at the princess with wide eyes. He lifted one of his sticks, holding up his finger as if he were about to poke her. “Is it as squishy as it looks?”

“No, no, no, Olaf,” Anna shook her head. She recoiled slightly, moving the baby just out of the snowman’s reach. “We don’t poke babies.”

“Really? Fascinating,” he commented. “Now how do they work? I read somewhere that all babies do is cry. Why isn’t this one?”

“Oh she cries,” Kristoff replied dryly. “You didn’t her wailing all last night?”

“Nope!” the snowman smiled.

“She cried for three hours straight.”

“I was out like a light.”

“How do you sleep at night?”

“Usually on top of two or three really soft blankets, sometimes after I’ve read a good mystery novel. Ah, the epic reveal always gets me right here and puts my mind at ease for the next case.”

Elsa raised an eyebrow. “And what mystery put you into such a slumber this time, little guy?”

Olaf’s smile grew wider. “A super gory murder mystery!”

Elsa stiffened. Kristoff’s jaw dropped. Anna pulled her daughter closer, as if covering her whole head was supposed to protect her from the description. And all Olaf could do was happily stare at his family, seemingly proud of his literary accomplishments.

“Wow…. Wow. That’s….” Think, Elsa! How the hell do you encourage this without directly encouraging it? “...Something, Olaf. That’s...really something.”

“I know!” he cheered. “Books really do take you away to a whole other world! I can’t wait to read all my favorites to Olaf Junior!”

“Whoa whoa whoa, hold up. We are not naming our daughter Olaf Junior,” Kristoff waved his hands dismissively.

Olaf pouted. “Why not? Don’t I get to help pick out the name, too?”

“Of course you do,” Anna promised. “We’d love to hear your ideas and you did such a good job with naming all the Snowgies, it’s just that….” Her voice faded towards the end. Anna appeared to be struggling with how exactly to tell him what a questionable choice it was. Naturally she looked to Elsa for backup.

Thanks sis, the blonde thought sarcastically.

She sucked in her bottom lip briefly. “We wouldn’t want to confuse the two of you.”

“But that’s what the junior part is for,” Olaf pointed out.

Damn it.

“Sure…. Of course. But the thing is….” She dragged out her words. Elsa glanced at Anna and Kristoff, who were both at a loss of words as well. Naturally they weren’t going to be any help. Leave it to Elsa to pick up their pieces. If only there was a way to distract Olaf without making him feel unimportant. Something to just stall. Spirits, this would sure be a good time to help out, Elsa thought.

Whether the spirits actually answered her call or it was just impeccable timing the doorknob turned. Honeymaren poked her head in slightly, holding a tray of food in her free hand.

“May I come in…?”

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Elsa thought. Pushing herself off the bed, she walked over to the door. Elsa gently grabbed the doorknob and pulled the door open more, allowing Honeymaren to hold the tray with both hands. Not that she was using it as an excuse to get closer to her at all! But, admittedly, they didn’t have much time the night before. Though Elsa had wanted to thank her, the two of them had gone their separate ways for the night. Elsa remained with Anna, Kristoff, and the baby while Honeymaren returned to the other room. If only Elsa had been able to escape early in the morning to thank her friend personally. If she hadn’t been there to support her during that panic episode...Elsa couldn’t say for sure what would have happened. Though she couldn’t say it out loud quite yet, she hoped that Honeymaren could tell how much gratitude, respect, and love she had for her.

As a friend!

As a friend, of course!

Because that’s what they were.

Friends.

That would be weird for it to mean anything else, right?

Right.

Elsa would have to come up with a different synonym later.

“Elsa?”

“Hm?”

The blonde blinked. Then she realized - Honeymaren had already put the tray of food on the desk. Elsa was still holding the door, half leaning against it. She was met with confused stares. How long had she been lost in her own thoughts for?

Clearing her throat, she quickly closed the door and adjusted her posture. “Oh! Sorry. I was only…”

“Falling asleep?” Anna cut her off teasingly. Shaking her head, she moved her gaze towards Honeymaren. “She was the only one who could calm this little one down last night. A couple snowflakes on her and she was completely calm. Elsa’s such a natural isn’t she?”

Elsa’s face fell. She knew Anna meant well and that she was only trying to show her off...or talk her up...or something. Not that Anna needed to by any means! If anything, it should have been the other way around. Elsa should have been praising Anna with the way she stepped up to the title and how much Arendelle has been thriving under her. Still, after the past few days, the comment still….

“Anna, please. I-” Elsa started.

But Anna cut her off again. She stood up and, holding the baby in one arm, offered her other to her sister. “I meant as an aunt,” she clarified.

The correction sent a wave of relief through Elsa’s body. So she didn’t mean it the way it was implied. The way everyone else had assumed. Not anymore.

“And I knew you would be,” Anna continued squeezing her hand. “But I really wanted to calm her down myself and I guess...I don’t know, maybe if I knew the cold didn’t bother her anyway, I might’ve asked you sooner.”

Elsa held her hand close. “I didn’t mean to overstep. I tried to keep back as long as I could. I just wanted to be here for you, for as long as I could.”

Kristoff scoffed playfully. “Careful what you say, Elsa. You might never go back to Northuldra at that rate,” he joked.

That…. Wow.

That was definitely something else.

Never go back to Northuldra?

It wasn’t even a thought; of course Elsa would return, just as she said she would. It was her place. She was a spirit. She connected the humans and the magic. She had a life. She had….

She fixated on Honeymaren. Spirits, how the woman looked uncomfortable even at the joke. Surely she didn’t think Elsa took it seriously...did she? Elsa would never!

Clearing her throat, Honeymaren pushed herself away from the desk and started to the door. “I should...I should go. I, I have to send a message to Ryder anyway. Let him know what’s happening. And I’ll...I’ll keep Kai off your backs. About the name, I mean. He was asking and.... I’ll let him know it’s still…. Yeah.”

“Maren….” Elsa started.

“It’s fine,” the brunette promised. “I’ll leave you all to it.”

“Actually!” Anna’s voice piped up, causing Honeymaren to stop before opening the door. Elsa turned her head to her sister, puzzled. The reaction was quite sudden. Was Anna really all right with Honeymaren staying? Did she sense the disappointment and wanted to make up for it? Or did she have some ulterior motive?

No. No!

There was no way Anna could have known.

It was just Anna being Anna. Nothing to do with Elsa or Honeymaren’s reactions at all.

“Maybe you could help us with a name,” Anna suggested.

Honeymaren blinked. “Me…?”

“We can use all the help we can get,” Kristoff said. “We had a few ideas in the beginning but we haven’t actually had a chance to consider them. I’m not even sure if any of our ideas even fit her.”

“I don’t know, I still think Olaf Junior has a nice ring to it,” Olaf commented.

Honeymaren tilted her head. “Is that how the naming process works in Arendelle…?”

“Not in the least,” Anna shook her head. “But if there’s some way I can honor both Arendelle and Northuldra in her name…. But I’m not even sure how to do that. So maybe if you walk me through the process there? Or if there’s a theme? Inspiration? Anything at all. I’d love to hear it.”

Honeymaren offered a small smile, but shook her head. “I’ve spent more time around reindeer than people. As much as I do love my people, being around the newborns isn’t quite….” Unable to find the right description, she shook her head once more. “I could walk you through how Ryder and I name the reindeer with much more ease.”

“That’s perfect!” Kristoff exclaimed.

Elsa rolled her eyes playfully while Anna giggled. They expected nothing less from the reindeer king himself.

“We’ll take it,” Anna smiled. She returned to the bed, only to see Olaf eagerly reaching out for the baby once again. Passing the princess to Kristoff, he sat next to Anna while Anna pulled Olaf into her lap She guided his hand towards the baby, whispering to him to let her reach out to him. Olaf seemed doubtful at first, especially since the princess showed no interest. However his tune changed completely when her tiny hand wrapped around his finger.

“She’s squeezing my hand!” he squealed with delight. “SHE’S SQUEEZING MY HAND! Oh, she likes me so much!” He giggled with delight, kicking his tiny snow feet up and down in the process.

As adorable as Olaf’s interaction was, Elsa still couldn’t help but look at Honeymaren from the corner of her eye. The Northuldra woman still seemed a bit hesitant. Elsa could only begin to imagine what could possibly be going through her head in that moment. She wasn’t going to guess, and now certainly wasn’t the time to try to figure it out. She only hoped that Honeymaren knew how much it meant to Elsa to have her there. How happy her presence made her. She held her hand out to her friend and waited for their gazes to meet. In the process, Elsa tried her best to not show any hesitation.

She was definitely NOT getting lost in those eyes again!

“Thank you,” she somehow managed to mouth.

Honeymaren’s response came in the form of a simple smile. She took Elsa’s hand in hers and let her lead her back to the bed. Elsa sat at the corner and Honeymaren took her place behind her, leaning onto the headboard and watching Olaf continue his interaction with the baby.

“She is even cuter than the Snowgies!” Olaf cooed. Realizing what he’d just said, he lowered his voice. “Don’t tell any of them I said that.”

“Yeah. Now about the reindeer…” Kristoff easily changed the subject.

Again, no one showed any surprise.

“Well, sometimes we do name the reindeer at birth. Other times, for each individual that has their own reindeer or works personally with them, that’s up to them to decide the name. Ryder never hesitates to come up with something instantly. Oftentimes he’ll hold eye contact with the baby, like he’s looking into its soul. Sometimes, though, I believe he just gets so overwhelmed he spits out the first thing he can think of,” Honeymaren explained. 

“Do the reindeer ever give you some kind of sign?” Anna wondered.

“Sometimes,” she admitted. She eyed Elsa teasingly, “Recently Ryder’s gotten into the habit of using color and astronomy inspired names because of the books _somebody_ has been sharing with him during his visits here.”

Elsa was definitely blushing now. Yes, she may have gone just a tad overboard and wanted to share with Ryder as many books on art and astronomy that the castle library held. Ryder had so much excitement about seeing the world now that the mist no longer covered the Enchanted Forest. The colors were so much brighter; he wanted to know the specifics of all their names. And whenever he looked up at the night sky question after question about the constellations would escape him. He did absolutely nothing to hide his enthusiasm and, unsurprisingly, Honeymaren was probably getting tired of hearing the same topics over and over again. Or maybe, just maybe, there was a chance the brunette had been occasionally eavesdropping on them in the library.

“Anyway,” Honeymaren continued, “the last reindeer he and I delivered were twins. One of them came out…” she chuckled, shaking her head, “I think it sounded more like squealing, but Ryder insisted it was roaring. So he named it Leo, after the lion constellation. But the other one, he spent ages just staring at its eyes. And I had no idea why. All I knew was that, throughout the entire time he sat with that reindeer it was just so calm and poised. All while its sibling was squealing for attention. When I finally got to ask Ryder what had him so enamored, he said it was the green in its eyes. The way the grass was reflecting in them and how the sun was almost lighting them up…. He insisted on coming up with the _perfect_ shade of green. Ended up deciding on, ugh what was it called…? Chartan…? Shartrap…?”

Elsa smirked lightly. “Chartreuse?”

Honeymaren shuddered. “That.” Her tone was an intriguing combination of disgust, horror, and confusion. She quickly nudged Elsa as the blonde tried to cover up her fit of giggles. “Don’t you start, too!”

“Aw!” Anna cooed. “I think it’s adorable!”

Honeymaren raised an eyebrow. “The name?”

“No, Elsa’s laugh,” she responded.

“Anna!” Elsa exclaimed. Grabbing the pillow behind her, she hit it against her sister’s leg. It did nothing but cause Anna to laugh in response.

“Can I hit her next when Olaf Junior lets me go?” Olaf asked hopefully.

“Hey I’ve been through more than enough pain to last me a lifetime,” Anna commented dramatically. “No more hitting. Unless it’s at Kristoff. Or Elsa.”

“Hey!” Elsa gasped.

“Ok, back to the reindeer,” Kristoff said, ever the focused one.

At least, when it came to reindeer he was.

“So naming the reindeer...it’s the same as talking for them?” he asked. “You just stare at them and.... You know?”

“Kind of, yeah,” Honeymaren admitted.

Anna furrowed her brows. She looked to her husband. “Do you really think if we just stare at her something will just come to us?”

“Maybe,” he shrugged. “Even if it’s not a name, exactly. Maybe something will just click.”

“So if we just look at her, say what we’re thinking, what we want...for us and for her...something will resonate?” she asked. She shook her head once and then looked back to Honeymaren. “How did it work out with Chartreuse anyway?”

“Oh, as soon as he announced it, Yelena overruled it,” she answered as-a-matter-of-factly. “It was shortened to Truce.”

“Wasn’t it the truth that also brought you guys together?” Olaf thought aloud.

“I don’t think that’s a human name,” Kristoff said.

“Well then what about love?” the snowman inquired.

“Love?” Anna repeated.

“Yeah. Love also brought you guys together. And love is permanent,” he nodded.

“That’s true, isn’t it,” Anna thought aloud. She glanced at her daughter. “I don’t think that’s her name though. It seems too...nicknamey for her.”

“But she will be getting plenty of it,” Elsa pointed out gently.

The thought brought another smile to Anna’s face. “That she will. We’ll all make sure of that.” She carefully moved Olaf off of her lap and onto the bed so he sat next to Elsa. Anna scooted closer to Kristoff, hovering over the baby though careful enough not to overwhelm her. As Kristoff caressed his thumb over the blanket that still consumed the baby, Anna allowed her hand to linger above should she decide to reach up and grab it like she did with Olaf. The redhead remained completely focused on her daughter, pausing as she let what she was thinking escape her lips.

“I want her to know how much love she’s surrounded by. That we were all brought together by love. Arendelle and Northuldra. Mother and Father. Us, our family. She’ll never have to choose between those two sides. Maybe she will be queen one day. Maybe she’d rather live in Northuldra. Or travel. She should be free to do whatever she wants to do. Because no matter what, she’ll always have us. Even if we’re not always with her physically. She can still look to us for guidance. And strength. And protection. I want...I hope...that one day she’ll be able to look back on the people that came before her. And look to them for strength and protection. To people like Mother.”

She turned her head around to her sister. “And like Elsa.”

Elsa placed her hand over her heart. She couldn’t begin to describe what a beautiful sentiment it was that Anna shared. Or how much it meant that she was not only acknowledging their mother, but Elsa as well. Elsa never necessarily thought of herself as strong; she only thought of her fierce love for her sister and the people she cared deeply about. But there was no doubt that Iduna was one of the strongest people they ever knew. She saved her enemy. She left her home. She was unable to return. She started a life in a foreign place, having to hide who she was. Sharing her true self with the person she loved was a huge risk. Even though he accepted her and loved her exactly for whom she was, she still had to hide. And it took all she had to keep that side of her from her own children. But she did it all for them. 

Except, as strong as Iduna was, there was one other person who came pretty damn close. At least, in Elsa’s opinion.

“You’re forgetting one other person,” she stated softly. She placed her hand over her sister’s. “You.”

Anna hesitated. “Me?”

Kristoff nodded in agreement. “She’s right. Elsa’s powers may be strong and I bet it makes it a whole lot easier to protect everyone. But you protect people, too, Anna. You protect their hearts. That’s a pretty damn strong thing to do.”

“Mother and Father said it best,” Elsa added, recalling the memory she once shared with Anna, “‘her love can hold up the world’. You do that every day. Your love is what saved me. And it’s what will always protect her.”

The wheels were turning in Anna’s head. She was allowing everything to sink in. Everything she wanted for her daughter as well as the truth spoken by Kristoff and Elsa. No one said anything right away; they only allowed Anna to register everything. It wasn’t until a few minutes passed that Kristoff allowed his voice to be heard, summarizing perfectly Anna’s desires.

“We want her to always feel protected. We want her to have that passion to protect everyone she cares about. Her friends. Her family. Her people. Arendelle and Northuldra.”

“So when you think of protection, what do you see?” Honeymaren wondered.

Anna opened her mouth to speak. She seemed to have an answer right away, yet she hesitated. Brows furrowing, she looked to Kristoff once again. Everything about the baby and the name, Anna was taking the lead. But Anna would never do anything without Kristoff; she wouldn’t make any choices without him. It was almost as if she were looking to him for confirmation. Or permission, perhaps?

However, Kristoff merely smiled and shrugged. “My love is not fragile. Whatever her name is, I’ll love it because I love her. And I love you. You tell me. What are you thinking?”

With that, a huge smile grew on Anna’s face. She clapped her fists together once or twice before jumping off the bed. She did know exactly what she wanted. And, naturally, Kristoff did as well. If Anna’s explanation was any indication, she was thinking only of her family. That was her inspiration. That was what made her feel protected. That was also what made Kristoff so perfect for her; he knew how important family was to Anna. Though many others from the outside would look at Kristoff and see him coming second, he never felt that was the case. He didn’t just accept that part of Anna; he embraced it. And, as a result, he also embraced Elsa as a sister. Kristoff may have had a family in the trolls that raised him, but nothing was known about his biological family. It only made sense he’d want his children to have as strong a connection to theirs as possible. But Kristoff needn’t say any of that out loud. It was written clear across his face in the form of a warm smile.

Opening one of the drawers, Anna removed a book. She furiously flipped through the pages, looking for something in particular. Elsa wished she could read Anna in that moment as clear as she could read Kristoff. Yet with the redhead moving so quickly, her mind must have been going just as fast if not faster. There was no way to keep up with that woman.

Finally, Anna stopped. She held the book open, her finger pointed at a specific line. Her smile never faltering, she kept the book close to her as she returned to her family. She stopped in front of the bed, facing them. Somehow she stood like a queen about to make an important announcement even though she could barely contain her excitement.

“Well I don’t know if it’ll be quite as good as Olaf Junior, but I can tell this is still gonna be good!” Olaf bounced.

Still looking like her face was going to explode, Anna looked to Kristoff once more. When he gave a single nod, the queen exhaled. The joy still on her face, she spoke with calmness and confidence. “It’s not a common name in Arendelle. Or probably in Northuldra. But it doesn’t have to be; because even though it comes from some place far off, it shows that there is so much more out there. That she won’t have to be tied to being queen of Arendelle or living in Northuldra if she doesn’t want to. She deserves to have some of that pressure off of her and to live her life where and how she chooses when she’s old enough.” She inhaled. “Father was Arendellian. Mother was Northuldra. They were raised as enemies. But still, she saved him. Mother risked her life and everything she knew for her enemy because it was the right thing to do. And from that one selfless act came a gift.” Pressing the open book close to her chest, Anna removed her hand from the page and held it out. Not giving Elsa a chance to respond, Anna grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. “Elsa, you were the gift. Your magic was the gift. And every day that we were apart growing up, you protected me with your magic. You kept it to yourself. You did everything in your power to try to control it so you could make sure I stayed safe. You put a huge burden on yourself so I wouldn’t have to suffer again. Everything you did was out of love for me. And then, time and time again, you used your magic to protect. To protect Arendelle. To protect Northuldra. To protect the balance. To protect everyone. And now, every time you do that it reminds me of Mother. And what she did for Father.” She briefly glanced to the baby and then back at Elsa. “And I think she sees it, too. Because she’s been at her calmest every time you’ve been in the room. Your magic last night put her at ease. She already feels protected by you, Elsa. And if she feels that now, in only two days, then I know she’s going to feel that way for the rest of her life.”

“Anna….” Elsa’s voice was timid and shaky. However for the first time it wasn’t out of fear or wanting to distance herself. She couldn’t believe what Anna was saying. Or, maybe she could. It was so very Anna. But it didn’t feel real. It felt more like a dream. A dream in which Elsa’s heart never felt fuller than it did in that moment. Surrounded by the people dearest to her, listening to Anna speak of such admiration for her. Implying that even for a moment she was considering honoring Elsa in her daughter’s name.

“I know it’s my job to protect Arendelle now,” Anna continued. “But I also know I can do that because of you. Because I have you behind me. Because with you and everything you can do with your magic, I feel strong. I feel connected to Mother. And her people. Most of all, I feel the love that brings all of us together. Because your powers are controlled by love. And in that love isn’t just yours for me and everyone else. It’s Mother and Father’s love for each other. It’s my love for you, my family, and our friends. And our love for our people.”

In most cases, Anna would be the emotional wreck. How the hell was Anna speaking with so much composure and certainty when Elsa felt like she was going to burst?

Elsa wiped her eyes as Anna tilted the book towards her. Squeezing Elsa’s hand, Anna directed her towards the line on the page. Elsa almost couldn’t hear her the first time over her own sniffle. But Anna merely smiled and tilted her head in the direction, softly repeating the line. Left side, fifth name down…. Elsa forced her blurred vision down the list of names. Thank the spirits it wasn’t far off or she certainly wouldn’t have made it. Swallowing, Elsa barely managed to let out a breath before she read the name out loud.

“Eira.”

Anna nodded proudly. A moment passed.

Elsa raised an eyebrow. She didn’t even think to read past the name. “What…? Where…”

“In that kingdom, it means ‘snow’,” her sister answered. “This way, she’ll always be connected to the strongest person I know. To the strongest people we know.”

A high-pitched squeal from Olaf filled the room. “AWWWW! So she really _is_ a junior! _Elsa_ Junior!”

No, it wasn’t quite the same. But no one had the heart to correct Olaf this time. Nor did anyone have any intention. Especially not Elsa. She was still in complete awe over Anna’s choice. And with how seriously and passionately she spoke about her decision. The entire thought process, her feelings, her hopes for the baby...rather, for Eira...they meant something. And there was no way in hell Anna was changing her mind. Anna and Elsa could have playful disagreements about anything - and they have. They’d tease and poke at each other until one of them would ultimately relent. This time, however? Elsa couldn’t bear to fight her.

All she could do was throw herself into her sister’s arm and embrace her in the tightest, warmest hug she could ever muster and allow the happiness to continue flowing from her eyes.

\---

If the food wasn’t forgotten about as soon as it was set down, it was surely out of everyone’s mind once everyone officially started fawning over Eira. Elsa remained a bit emotional; she could barely remove her hand from her heart the entire time. Or her grip from Anna, for that matter. Fortunately no one seemed to mind. There was merely a repetition of ‘Eira Eira Eira’ for the rest of the day. Elsa was ashamed to say for a brief time she’d forgotten Honeymaren was even in the room until she said she was leaving. The relief that came across Elsa’s face when Honeymaren said she was only leaving the room and not leaving for Northuldra didn’t go unnoticed by Anna. Elsa was sure she saw a glance from her sister, which earned her a frustrated nudge. Kristoff took his leave shortly after, realizing that the hunger had gotten to him. After asking Elsa if she’d like to hold Eira some more - the answer was a resounding yes - he offered for Olaf to join him. They would let Kai know to make the official announcement about the royal baby and then would journey to the kitchen. Naturally, Olaf asked if they could stop at the library so he could bring a book to read to Junior; he was still insistent on calling her that.

Once again the sisters were left alone. Elsa pressed Eira close to her, allowing her head to rest on her shoulder. Eira squirmed slightly, her tiny hand reaching up and snatching onto a piece of Elsa’s hair. The blonde flinched.

“Oh! No, love, please don’t pull on that…”

Anna tried not to laugh. “I told you. She adores you.” Gently prying Elsa’s hair out, Anna managed to adjust Eira’s hand so she was gripping onto Elsa’s dress instead. “But maybe we should make sure that doesn’t happen again.”

“You think?” Elsa smirked.

Anna shook her head. Positioning herself behind Elsa, Anna carefully separated the strands of platinum blonde hair so she could braid them. There was a comfortable silence between the two sisters, Anna focused on the braiding and Elsa on the baby. Anna must have gotten towards the edges before she let out a soft sigh.

“Also...I’m sorry about before.”

“You should be,” Elsa teased, “I thought I was going to melt during your speech.”

“Oh no, I’m definitely not sorry about that,” Anna laughed. “I meant…. About the comments. About pushing you.” Once she tied the bottom, Elsa turned to face her. Anna continued, “I guess I just always thought about our lives going a certain way. That we’d both...you know...with Kristoff and probably some other guy and kids….” She smiled apologetically and looked her sister in the eyes. “But that’s not what you want, is it?”

Elsa sucked in her bottom lip. She stiffened briefly, which seemed to get a response out of Eira. She let out the faintest...it sounded so much like a ‘yeah’ as if she were answering for Elsa, but in reality it was probably closer to something of an ‘awah’. Elsa relaxed her body and exhaled. “You’re right. It’s not,” she confessed softly. “I’m sorry, Anna.”

Anna blinked rapidly. “Wait, what? You don’t have to be sorry. Why are you saying that?”

“Because I know it’s what you were hoping for. What everyone was hoping for, really. For us to start families together and raise our children so they could be close like we are,” she answered.

“Elsa I don’t care about that. I care that you’re happy,” Anna said. “I mean...yeah, I guess it is kind of disappointing. But only because I wanted our kids to have what we didn’t growing up. It’s ok that it doesn’t work out that way. You don’t need to have a boyfriend or kids to be complete.” She gave a crooked smile. “Actually, that’s probably for the better. Eira can have you all to herself, then.”

“And what of your other future children?” Elsa asked knowingly.

Anna waved her arm, brushing the question off. “Oh we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

Elsa shrugged her shoulders lightly. “I’m not the person anyone expected me to be, am I?” she guessed.

“Maybe not. But you’re exactly who you’re meant to be. You’re Elsa,” Anna replied. “And it’s because of you that Eira’s gonna feel bonded to the other strong women from her life. You, Mother, Yelena, Honeymaren….” Anna allowed Honeymaren’s name to drag out a bit longer than the rest. The notion wasn’t ignored by Elsa; she tilted her head slightly though didn’t say anything at first. She could tell Anna wanted to say something else. It was merely a question of what. It wasn’t like Anna knew anything…. Or did she?

No.

No.

No!

No…?

Elsa blinked. “Anna…?” she attempted to keep her voice as calm as possible. “Is there something you would like to tell me?”

“Oooooh…. Just thaaaaaaaaaat….” Her response came in a slow, singsong tone. Anna tapped her fingers together before placing her hands behind her back. She swayed back and forth on her feet a little. Her eyes seemed to wander around the room - specifically to anywhere but Elsa.

Oh the woman definitely had some idea in her head.

“Anna.” Elsa’s voice came out more stern that time.

The redhead pursed her lips. The gears must have still been turning for her. “Just that…. I hope you don’t forget the strong people in your life, too, Elsa. The ones that want to protect you just as much as you want to them. And you have a lot of people who care so much about you. So…. So they won’t let anything happen to you. And you won’t let anything happen to them. To _her._ Ok?”

Elsa raised an eyebrow. “Who her?”

“I think you know who I mean,” she replied.

If it was whom Elsa thought Anna was thinking about, then she had an idea. But Anna couldn’t have known! There was no way Anna thought that Elsa spent so much of her time thinking about Honeymaren. Because if Anna thought that’s what Elsa thought...unless Anna _wanted_ Elsa to think that so Elsa would admit she thought Anna thought that, which would only confirm what Anna thought in the first place….

Ugh! Did Anna get pleasure from mentally torturing Elsa or something?

“I know what you’re doing. And it won’t work,” she said simply. She kept her face straight and stoic, hoping that Anna wouldn’t penetrate her ruse.

“Maybe I don’t know what I’m doing. I could be totally off,” Anna admitted. “But I do know three things. I know that unless you’re running down the fjord on the Nokk, it doesn’t take anyone that quickly to get from Northuldra to Arendelle. No one even tries to move that quickly unless there’s something or someone they really want to see. And I know that I wasn’t the only one in the room with you when you were panicking.”

She was right.

Elsa hated to admit it because she knew she’d never hear the end of it.

But Anna was absolutely right. On both accounts.

The distance between Arendelle and the Enchanted Forest was at least a few days with a carriage. And although with only one person on a horse or reindeer it would be quicker, to get from one point to the other in a day had to have been a feat. Honeymaren had tried to brush it off like it was no big deal; but in reality, it was. She couldn’t have left Northuldra much later than Elsa. She must have not stopped at all. Oh, Aksel deserved most of the credit for that, of course! But without a rider as stubborn and determined as Honeymaren, most reindeer would have needed to rest for at least a few hours at some point. But Honeymaren couldn’t have come in such haste because of Elsa...could she? It was because of Anna. She had said so herself. Honeymaren arrived for support. Even though she saw Elsa’s reaction and knew the occasion was just as much a milestone for Elsa as it was Anna. Maybe…. No. No. Honeymaren couldn’t have pushed herself or her reindeer to such extremes for Elsa’s sake.

But as much as Elsa could try to deny the first point, she couldn’t ignore the second. Anna wasn’t the only person in the room when Elsa had her panic attack. And as much as Anna would always do her part to talk Elsa down from those and do anything in her power she could to help, regardless of how or why it happened, that time it wasn’t Anna that snapped Elsa out of it. It was Honeymaren. Anna may not have known what Honeymaren did. And even if somehow she had been able to see through the scarf, to see how tight Honeymaren had been squeezing Elsa’s hand, she couldn’t have known what was going on through Elsa’s mind in that moment. Or how she was feeling. She couldn’t have possibly felt the warmth, comfort, or protection. She couldn’t have known the relief that consumed Elsa to know that someone other than Anna chose to be there for her in that moment. Who wanted to be there for her. Who cared deeply enough to try while somehow, at the same time, being so careful and considerate of Elsa’s feelings. Any other person might have just openly grabbed Elsa’s hand. But Honeymaren? She knew Elsa wasn’t ready to say something out loud. She knew Elsa still didn’t completely understand her own feelings. She just knew that Elsa needed her. Even if it was in secret. And she made it happen. For her.

Elsa’s eyes darted away from Anna’s direction. She couldn’t stand to see the smug look on her sister’s face. Knowing she was right was one thing; Elsa admitting it would be the icing on the cake.

“What’s the third thing?” Elsa mumbled.

“That you have so much love to give,” she answered. “Maybe to everyone else you show it when you do your magic, making something for people. With me? With Olaf? You hold nothing back. You give us everything. Eira’s been here for two days and you’ve already given her more love than I’ve ever seen you give anyone in my life. The way you hold her and look at her and last night the way you were talking to her when you calmed her down…. Way to show me up, by the way. I know I said I wasn’t mad about it, but come on; you’d think you could tone it down at least a little. So you can make magic snow appear out of nowhere and create incredible ice sculptures from nothing. But I literally pushed her out of me. So I think I deserve just as much credit as you do!”

“Anna.”

“Right. Sorry.”

Elsa wasn’t going to lie; even if for a few brief moments, sometimes when Anna got distracted and went off topic like that it was completely adorable. She couldn’t help but love her sister for it.

“My point is, you deserve to give that to someone else, too. It doesn't have to be settling down and starting a family or even anything serious. It can just be you loving someone. Whoever that is.”

Damn it, Anna.

She said it with so much simplicity and compassion, too. Anna must have had x-ray vision if she could see through Elsa like that. But then again, no one knew Elsa better than Anna.

Again, damn it, Anna.

She could see Anna grinning from the corner of her eye. Whether it was a happy grin or an I-knew-it grin, Elsa couldn’t tell. Quite frankly, she didn’t want to know which one it was at the moment. Elsa loosened from her position as she felt Eira slip out of her grasp. Anna removed her and gently held the princess in her own arms. She made sure Eira was adjusted and comfortable before she looked at her sister warmly.

“Go get her,” she encouraged gently.

Elsa blinked. Her head lowered slightly, focusing on her hands. She began to fidget with them again. She ran one hand over the other, then tilted, switched positions with her hands, and repeated. As her hands escaped each other’s grasp slightly, her gaze moved towards the door. She could feel her fingers still brushing up against each other, fiddling in between each other and unable to stay still. She replayed the events of the past couple of days in her head.

Her routine in Northuldra had generally been the same. She would spend time with Honeymaren, do her spirit work, continue learning about the Northuldra, spend time with Honeymaren, help with the reindeer, and spend time with Honeymaren….

Anna gave birth. Elsa was thrilled for her.

Until it seemingly gave everyone the right to ask when Elsa would follow suit. And just like when she struggled to control her ice powers, the very obvious thing that made her so different from everyone else, she realized that something else made her different. Her lack of desire for a family. How many suitors she turned away in the past. How little thought she gave to seeing her future unfold. How, once again, she felt like she didn’t belong. Like she should be on her own, everyone from everyone else.

But she didn’t feel that way around Eira. Whether it was just the two of them, or them and Honeymaren, or them and Anna, Elsa didn’t feel a void. Nothing was missing for her. She felt like her life was complete. Well...for the most part.

There was still Honeymaren. Who didn’t treat her like she was different. Who didn’t question her over and over again. Who accepted her. Nothing felt forced or uncomfortable...except when Elsa stared too long or seemed to say the wrong thing that was. She just...felt warm. The cold never bothered Elsa anyway, but the excitement that came from just being close to Honeymaren was like nothing Elsa ever experienced before. It was clearly very different from what she felt around her family, but something about it…. Spirits, if she could only find the words to fully describe it!

Honeymaren didn’t expect anything from Elsa. She didn’t think Elsa had to live or be a certain way. She just wanted to be there for her. She just wanted...her?

Elsa stopped fidgeting for a moment. She allowed herself to look at her sister again. Anna only gave her a single nod.

Anna didn’t care, either. Not about that. She realized that wherever Elsa’s life was going, it was clearly on a different path from hers. And she completely and lovingly accepted it. Elsa didn’t have to prove herself to or do anything for Anna or anyone else. Just herself.

She gulped. Ok, she thought as she exhaled.

And then she ran out the door.

\---

Ok, Elsa.

Get it together.

Focus.

You can do this.

Just...just knock on the door.

Those were the thoughts that Elsa kept repeating to herself as she paced in front of her bedroom door. 

Wait, it was her bedroom. Why should she have to knock?

Oh, right; it was the room she brought Honeymaren to yesterday. For whatever reason, despite having so many spare rooms that Honeymaren could have had to herself, Elsa had to lead her to her own room.

So she couldn’t knock on the door.

She could just walk in.

Except she couldn’t bring herself to do that, either.

The pacing resumed, as did her thoughts.

Get it together, Elsa.

Focus.

She was back at square one.

How long had that back and forth even been going on for? Elsa lost track. 

Ok...ok, she was finally going to do it. All she had to do was knock. Ask if Honeymaren wanted to talk. And then...talk to her. Right. Talk.

Ugh! It was so much easier said than done! Were people always this difficult?

Actually, yes, yes they were. Admittedly for different reasons. But still difficult.

Elsa shook her head. Ok, she told herself, I’m actually going to knock this time. Just...raise my hand. And knock.

Exhaling, she turned to face the door. She cupped her hands in front of her and adjusted her posture, as if presenting herself in her usual regal manner was going to help. Closing her eyes, she raised her hand into a gentle fist and prepared to tap it against the door. Opening one eye, she gulped. Then, in the most delicate manner possible, she knocked.

Letting out a silent gasp, she withdrew her hand back to her body. There. She did it. She knocked. As quietly as she possibly could have. So Honeymaren probably didn’t even hear her. 

Ok, she thought, I guess I’m off the hook….

Ugh. Off the hook. She was never going to be able to fully coherently talk to that woman, was she? Sighing, Elsa prepared to turn and move to one of the spare rooms. Surprisingly, the doorknob clicked. Elsa’s eyes widened and her head shot back around. The door opened, revealing a shocked Honeymaren.

Was Elsa supposed to be relieved or terrified right now?

“I thought I heard…” the brunette commented, confused. “Did you...knock?”

Shit, she actually heard it somehow.

“I did….” she confessed hesitantly. Swallowing, she turned her body to fully face her friend. “I’m sorry, I...I wasn’t disturbing you, was I?”

It was Honeymaren’s turn to widen her eyes. “Oh! No, not at all. I was just…. I didn’t...want to…” she dragged out her words, almost as if she, too, were unsure what to say, “Disturb you! With, with Anna and the baby. Eira. Anna or Eira. So I...I left. It’s ok, though. I just, I sent a note to Ryder a while ago. So he could come. I’m sure he won’t be the only one.”

“Good. That’s….”

Don’t say good again. 

“Good.”

Damn it.

“I’m sure Anna will love that.”

Honeymaren covered her mouth, clearing her throat. “Um...would you like to come in…?”

Elsa fidgeted with her hands. “I mean, it is my room…” she said to herself.

“Oh! I’m sorry. I can...I can switch, if you’d prefer…” Honeymaren offered.

No, no! She wasn’t supposed to hear that!

“Please don't,” Elsa answered too quickly. “It’s...it’s alright. It was...it was more of a statement. I didn’t mean…”

“But it is yours.”

“That I hardly use anymore.”

“It’s still your space.”

“Which I brought you to.”

“And I’m completely fine with relocating.”

The women met each other’s gazes. Elsa expected it to be far more awkward than it really was. Instead, Honeymaren smiled. It was a crooked smile, almost a shy one, but still a smile. Elsa returned it. They were both caught off guard, it seemed. Or maybe Honeymaren was a nervous wreck similar to Elsa.

Nah!

Still, it was refreshing to see that even in such awkward moments they were still able to continue speaking to each other as friends. Whether it was a semi-normal conversation or playful banter. It was nice. Comfortable. Welcoming.

Elsa sighed softly. She should try this again. “May I come in please?”

“Of course,” Honeymaren nodded. She stepped to the side, allowing Elsa to enter the place she had once only thought of as her prison. It was funny, actually. Looking around the room, Elsa couldn’t recall the last time she actually felt discomfort in it. She wondered how much of it was finally feeling comfortable in her own skin and how much of it was because of the tan-skinned woman beside her. “So…” Honeymaren’s voice broke her out of the trance. She closed the door and leaned against it slightly, watching Elsa. “How is she?”

“Eira is an absolute joy,” Elsa admitted with a faint blush. “But I’m sure I say that because the sensation is still so new.”

“Sounds like I have some competition,” Honeymaren joked. “You listened to me when I said you belonged in Northuldra. If her first word turned out to be ‘stay’ you’d pack up and move back here in an instant.”

“You make it sound as though I have a habit of moving in with a woman I just met,” Elsa folded her arms.

“Well…” she giggled.

“You let one word of that slip out to Anna…” Elsa warned lightly.

Honeymaren cockily placed her hands on her hips. “And what?”

“I have ice powers. I am not afraid to use them,” she answered simply.

“Kristoff is right. You _are_ a sassypants,” she teased.

“Hey, I only came here to say thank you. But if you don’t want to hear it…” Elsa started.

“No, no. I enjoy having my praises sung to me.”

“I think I’ll keep you waiting then.”

“Elsa.”

“Maren.”

Honeymaren raised an eyebrow, hands remaining on her hips. Her cocky smile was quite infectious. Elsa kept one arm folded across her chest; her other arm was raised, elbow bent onto her hand and her pointer to her chin. Elsa’s hip extended further to one side, no doubt confirming the sassypants comment. Their eyes met once again and Elsa found it much easier to get lost in them this time. Except with their playful back and forth, she didn’t feel quite as nervous. Or like she was hiding something. It was just...easy. So, so damn easy to get lost in those eyes. The eyes that were technically brown but in just the right light they almost seemed to glow like honey. Warm honey like Honeymaren’s warm personality. Her warm touch. Her warm aura. 

What were the odds that if Elsa had actually referred to her as Honey instead that her face would turn permanently red?

“Ok, what did you really come here for?” Honeymaren inquired. “You see me every day in Northuldra. You should be reveling in taking all the time you can with Anna. And especially with Eira.”

“And I intend to maximize it fully. I said I plan on staying here for two weeks and I will make every bit of that time worth it,” she said. “That being said…” She paused to place her hands in front of her again as she took a step forward. “I really did come here to say thank you.”

Honeymaren blinked. “For what?”

Where the hell should she start?

Everything, Elsa wanted to say, for rushing here, for talking me down, for supporting me and accepting me, for being there for me, for being patient with me, for being you…. Everything.

That sounded like too much too soon. She should probably stick with the obvious for the time being.

“For last night, mostly. You….” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “you have no idea how much that meant to me.”

Though Elsa didn’t dare bring herself to those damn eyes again, she could have sworn she saw some heat rise to Honeymaren’s cheeks. 

“Oh...it’s nothing. I just...did what anyone else would.”

Leave it to Honeymaren to simply brush something off. As if she could play dumb to how incredible of a person she truly was.

“No. I don’t think anyone else would have done what you did. You…”

Elsa looked down at her hands. She could almost feel the heat rushing back to them. It brought a smile to her face, remembering the sensation in her body that came with Honeymaren’s touch. Tried as she might, she couldn’t describe it as anything other than being surrounded by warmth. So many times in her past when Elsa thought of what went on in her body she thought it similar to a storm. Always a snowstorm, filled with ice, roughness, harshness, and conflict. Like she could barely even see what was inside of her because everything was so tangled up in the snow. It was where she had to be. Conceal, don’t feel. She had done just that with the storm inside of her. But this time? It was closer to the description of walking on air. Not quite like how when Gale lifted her up off the ground in a playful manner. It was more akin to floating on a cloud. A nice, soft cloud backed up by the sun. Where she didn’t have to hide. She was just...free. What a difference! If only she could find the words to match it.

But she couldn’t. There were no words. Not without them implying something else. Or coming out like a jumbled mess. Both sounded equally embarrassing. So instead, she allowed herself to meet Honeymaren’s gaze and speak in the softest voce, unsure if even then she was still exuding the amount of gratitude and comfort she had for her friend.

“Thank you.”

Why did it still not feel like enough? What more could Elsa have possibly said or done to express what she was thinking? What she was feeling? Clearing her throat softly, she moved her hands from in front of her to fiddle with the edge of her braid.

“I just…. I hope you realize that everything you do for me…. It doesn’t go unnoticed.”

She tried not to mentally scold herself. How the hell did she go from sounding so sincere to professional?

“No…. I know…” Honeymaren confessed. “Just….” She seemed as though she were struggling to find the right words as well. Why did that not make Elsa feel any better? “Could you just...I don’t know...tell me if I overstep at all?”

Elsa blinked. “You don’t-”

“I know what you’re going to say,” she held a hand up. “But I look out for my people, Elsa. And however good those intentions are, they mean nothing if they end up bothering you. I don’t ever want you to think or feel that you have no say with me. You always do. So if I cross a line or say or do something to make you feel like you need to take a step back...just let me know. I would do anything for you, Elsa. I hope you know that.”

There she went again. Treating Elsa just like everyone else. Her background, her status, her powers...none of that mattered. To Honeymaren, she was still Elsa. Her fellow Northuldra. Her friend. It shouldn’t have made Elsa’s heart race that quickly, but it did.

Then there was the icing on the cake - _“I would do anything for you.”_ It was exactly what Anna said. _“There are a lot of people who care about you. So they won’t let anything happen to you. And you won’t let anything happen to them. To_ her. _”_ Anna may have admitted that she could have been way off in her assumption, especially having only gotten a small taste of Elsa’s and Honeymaren’s interactions with each other. She wasn’t there every day; she didn’t see everything. Evidently, last night she saw enough to know. 

Elsa gripped her braid a little tighter, but moved it so her hands were hovering over her heart. “I would do anything for you, too,” she promised. She sucked in her lips, realizing how accurate that was with one other recollection. “When...last night when I said….”

Oh spirits, did Honeymaren have to look at her with such an adorable puzzled stare?

“I...I said I was happy...because I...I have my….” She swallowed. How had her heart not exploded from her chest already? She breathed out, forcing the whole statement out nearly as fast as she could. “‘I am happy because I have my girls.’” There. She repeated it.

Honeymaren rubbed the back of her head. Oh no, should Elsa have quit while she was ahead?

“I remember….” the brunette admitted sheepishly. “I...I probably got a little too close for you there? Didn’t I? You were obviously talking about Anna and Eira. I was just...there.”

There was hesitancy in her statement. Almost like…. No. No way was Honeymaren embarrassed. Unless...unless that was something she was referring to? When she asked about overstepping? If only she knew how far off she really was!

“N...no…. Actually…” Elsa stammered, “I...I meant, you, too….”

There was a pause. Elsa could feel Honeymaren’s surprised eyes directly on her, though she couldn’t bring herself to match blue to brown. Was her face a tomato yet?

Elsa exhaled. “That’s...that’s how much you mean to me, Maren. To put you in the same class as Anna.”

Though it should have gone without saying. No one meant more to Elsa than Anna. And obviously, now Eira was also in that category. Somehow, though, it felt wrong not to acknowledge it. If she didn’t say it, the mere implication might not be enough. Honeymaren _had_ to know the caliber Elsa held her too. How much she really meant.

If only she could read Honeymaren’s reaction now. Was she surprised? Honored? Embarrassed?

“I guess….” Honeymaren rubbed her arm, “I should be honest, too.”

Elsa blinked. She hoped her voice didn’t sound as anxious as she felt. “What about?”

Biting her tongue, Honeymaren cautiously took a step closer to her. “I didn’t...exactly bring the scarf for Eira…. I mean, at first when I propositioned my friend to make it, I thought it might be a nice idea. I heard during one of the visits to Arendelle that when someone is pregnant it’s customary to give them a gift. Then I realized the scarf was a silly idea since Anna would probably give Eira your mother’s. By that time it was already in progress and I felt guilty shutting down the idea completely. I wasn’t sure what to do with it…”

Elsa nodded, listening carefully to Honeymaren’s story. “What changed?”

Honeymaren nervously grit her teeth. “I...may have overheard you one night. I didn’t mean to. I was passing by your goahti when I went to check on the reindeer. I think you said something along the lines of ‘looks like you’ll be staying in Arendelle.’ And then you walked out with your mother’s scarf around your shoulders.”

That was right; Elsa recalled that night. It was the week after Elsa’s visit in which Anna shared the baby news. The sisters had gone back and forth with sharing Iduna’s scarf, each one having it for a month or so before passing it to the other. Elsa knew that was going to be her last turn with the scarf because surely Anna would be giving it to Eira. She’d left her goahti to get a drink and then became distracted when one of the baby reindeer approached her for attention. She ended up falling asleep next to it with the scarf wrapped around them both. The little guy had been following her ever since. No doubt he’d be following the Northuldra into Arendelle for the celebration now.

Elsa blinked. “You mean then that you also saw me with that reindeer the whole time?”

Honeymaren held up her hands in defense. “Only for a few minutes. I had to check on the rest of the herd but I knew he was fine with you. Ryder’s the one who started calling him your fur son.”

“That explains so much,” Elsa mumbled.

“What?” Honeymaren asked.

The blonde shook her head. “Never mind. Um...the scarf. You were mentioning the scarf.”

She nodded. “Right. So...I decided the scarf would be for you instead. I meant what I said though...about it not being a replacement. It wasn’t supposed to be the same at all, just...for you to still have that some way. I wasn’t sure how you’d react or, knowing you, you'd probably say how sweet it is and you couldn’t possibly accept it…. So that’s why I said it was for Eira. So at least, for that one time, you couldn’t turn it down.”

It almost seemed silly in a way. It was only a piece of fabric and a small white lie about its origin. It was hardly a thing to be concerned with, hell not even something worth lying about. At the same time, it also confirmed how much respect Honeymaren had for Elsa. She wanted Elsa to feel completely at peace around her, to know that she could talk to her about anything and trust her with anything. Honeymaren didn’t want to keep so much as a single white lie around her as a result. 

And even more than that, just the way she thought about Elsa…. Seeing how much Iduna’s scarf meant to her…. Knowing it was a comfort item that would no longer be in Elsa’s position…. Honeymaren knew nothing could ever replace it, nor was she ever trying to. She only wanted to make sure Elsa still had something. And if she realized that so early on into the creation, how many times might she have ended up redesigning the pattern? How many times must she have gone back to her friend, to keep asking about it and checking on it? All for Elsa’s sake.

That’s why she had been holding the satchel so much! When Honeymaren arrived, in the courtyard, on their walk to the room...she had a hand on her satchel the whole time. When they sat down, she kept it close to them. She brought it in with her while Elsa was with Eira. She kept the satchel close to her the entire beginning of the visit because it had the scarf for Elsa. Even if it was the right thing to come and visit for Anna’s sake, even if Honeymaren and Anna were friends, that was never Honeymaren’s intention. The reason she came...hell, the reason she raced over the way she did...was for Elsa.

Elsa’s mind grew hazy at the revelation. Question after question, emotion after emotion, began to flood her thoughts. She couldn’t keep up with any of them. She could barely even tell what any of them were! Her eyes darted back and forth, a poor attempt to remotely follow the thought process. They could try to follow all they wanted, but at the end of the day they were still focused on only one person. Even if Elsa still couldn’t fully meet those honey coated eyes, the only clear vision she could see in a mess of blurred lines was Honeymaren herself. 

Unable to think anymore, Elsa only reacted. 

Stepping up, she placed her hands on Honeymaren’s shoulders and closed the space between them with a quick peck to her lips. She pulled back quickly, face flushed once again. She opened her mouth, searching for the words ‘I’m sorry’ but they couldn’t seem to escape. She wished she could explain why she had that sudden urge. Why she couldn’t hold back. Why she couldn’t allow herself to make it last longer.

Somehow, even if Honeymaren couldn’t fully read Elsa’s own thoughts, she knew them well enough. Gently placing one hand on Elsa’s waist and another under her chin, she captured her lips in a chaste kiss. Elsa’s breath hitched at what felt like such a sudden response, but it was short lived. A relaxation quickly swallowed her as her hands slid from Honeymaren’s shoulders to rest on her cheeks. It was a moment Elsa didn’t dare describe; only one she knew she wanted to relive over and over again.

Save for every 'I told you so' after 'I told you so' that Elsa would be hearing from Anna for the rest of her life.

Shit.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this [long] short story! I tried to include a little bit of everything here, giving Elsa interactions with each of the characters. I keep imagining Olaf preparing for his moody teenage years hence his mentions of darker topics....  
> With the baby name i kept toying with a few different ideas. Ultimately i went with Eira (i believe it's pronounced I-rah?) and i found a few meanings for the name ranging from protection to healing to mercy, which explains the mentions of protection in what Anna wants for her. The meaning that ended up sticking out most, though, was that in Welsh Eira means 'snow'. I wasn't sure if anything Welsh-related or inspired had been mentioned in the Frozen cannon, which is why i kept the description for the name as being popular in a far off kingdom. As much as i kept looking for names that honored both Elsa and Iduna because i definitely believe Anna would find some way to do that, i think her reasoning tied everything together. At least, that's what the goal was.  
> The other goal was to find the right balance between humor and feels with Elsamaren. I really wish Maren had more screentime so we could have gotten to know her better. So some things i attempted to write with her, like the teasing, was inspired by how i've seen others write her. What i really wanted to show with her though, was that she's someone who has the utmost respect for Elsa and cares so much about her and i just hope that those little instances where Elsa can see that does Maren justice. Although i'd love to see let alone be able to write what Elsamaren would be like as parents as well (c'mon they'd be ADORABLE!), i felt for this particular one shot the possibility didn't fit in.  
> And yes, i know the Wait What is Anna's thing but i just enjoy the idea of everyone else saying it, too.


End file.
